All My Trials
by xoxAmyxox
Summary: I am the daughter of Tony DiNozzo...this is my story. TIVA Slight McAbby and JIBBS. PLEASE REVIEW! My first NCIS fic! Chapter 16 now up!Excuse the underlining...I'm not sure why it has done that but will alter it later!
1. Chapter 1

Pairing:Tony/Ziva all the way baby!

Disclaimer: one day…maybe one day…but until then, I'm just a little fish in the NCIS fanfiction ocean.

Summary: I know there are loads of fics based on this idea but I decided to manufacture one of my own. Tony has an 18 year old daughter who is in her last year of high school (I know Tony might seem a little young for an 18 year old daughter but work with me here) This is her story about the tragic death of her mother and the loss of the father she used to know. Will she ever get him back? On top of that who else does she turn to for the things only a mother can provide?

Chapter One: Bethany

I don't usually dream but for some reason lately I keep having the same dream. I suppose it's not really a dream, more of a memory really. We used to be a perfect family. There was my mom, dad and me, just the three of us. My Dad met my Mom during some under-cover operation thingy and sparks flew. I was ten years old when my mom was killed during the terrosist attack on the Pentagon.

I've lost too many people that I love. I became very close to Kate when she worked with my father-when she was murdered it delt as a huge blow to all of us…I had lost my friend. I was expecting to hate her replacement but I have an awful lot to thank Ziva for. Sometimes I wonder if Kate sent this wonderful person to me and my father.

It's 5:30 in the morning, how on earth can he get up that early I'll never know. Well, atleast he came home last night. Work is his refuge, unfortunatly for me, sometimes I get the impression he'd rather be at work than spend time with his own daughter. We all have our own ways of coping, he can't look at me because I remind him of her, sometimes I find it hard to believe he was ever my father. I cannot believe that the man who taught me to play the guitar and all the useless movie trivia I know and read me bedtime stories and helped me make cookies for the school bake sale…he's just a memory now.

But I know he'll be alright at work…I'm so proud of him. I know who he'll run to. I was happy when it looked as if he was starting to move on with his life going on dates and stuff but I never liked his dates, that was the only problem. When I told Ziva this, she laughed. She didn't say it herself but I knew she agreed with me. Ziva has been the rock in my broken family. She brought him home to me after nights where he'd been on a bender at a near by bar. I didn't know who else to turn to when I had my first period but she was always their, just like my mother. I know that no one can ever replace her, never. That's why I say but I think I mean that I don't want anyone to replace her. But Ziva's different to the other women, she saved my father she's who my father needs to spend the rest of his life with.

I can't speak for myself. I know I'm a hypocrite when I talk about my father working ungoldly hours and never being around when I myself too, disclosed myself from everyone around me. I don't really have much to do with everyone outside school-I'm better friends with everyone at NCIS. Gibbs taught me to drive, Jenny and Abby helped me choose my prom dress and McGee…he just makes me laugh. I can always rely on Ducky to tell me a good story. I want more friends, I really do. But it's like people avoid me because they know what happened 8 years ago.

_I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember it so painfully well. I was in math, I hate math. I saw the principle come in and when I saw him look at me I just knew, don__'__t ask me how, I just did. And I got up, and I just ran, I ran and ran as fast as I could to get to the Pentagon but I could not get anywhere near it. I was 10 years old and an old woman tried to drag me away in case I got hurt. But I just screamed and kicked and screamed and kicked. Begging for my mother to emerge from the rubble like the other dusty ghosts of New York City and Washington DC._

_Gibbs found me sobbing on the sidewalk and took me home. When I asked him where my father was he shook his head but told me Kate was looking for him. That made me feel better__…__knowing that Kate would look after him, they were like brother and sister. When I got home, McGee and Abby were waiting outside our apartment, we went inside and watched disney films and ate pizza, I felt like I couldn__'__t cry any more and I had no more energy to scream. I fell asleep and when I woke up McGee and Abby were still there, snoring on the sofa__…__the pizza had long gone cold. I sat there, young and naïve, not really understanding the adult world at this time but I wanted answers and no one could give me them. _

_I wanted my father, and McGee told me that I__'__d have to go with him to NCIS. I asked for my father again and again and as if my prayers were finally answered he was there in the door way. He was there in person but in spirit, he was long gone. He looked like he__'__d aged 10 years and simply walked past us and shut the door into the bathroom. We sat in silence, the tv turned off for obvious reasons, and listened to the water from the shower to stop. By now Kate had arrived, the door was open, no one had bothered to shut it and she just walked in. I ran to her and held on to her as if my life depended on it. She whispered into my ear that everything would be alright. _

_My father came out of the bathroom several minutes later, dressed smartly for work. I listened him and Kate argue for a little, Kate raising her voice poiniantly as not to scare me, saying that he could not possiby think of going to work at a time like this. He didn__'__t listen and took me by the hand and we walked out of the door._

_I turned and watched Kate thank McGee and Abby before catching up with us. We all got into the car and went to the lab. I__'__d never been allowed to go to NCIS before and any other time I would have been exited but he told me we wouldn__'__t be going home for a while. _

_I sat in his office drawing picture of us, the three of us happy, with the dog I__'__d always wanted. Abby came in and said they were lovely drawings but when my father came in and saw them he raged and tore them up. I sat and sobbed for the rest of the day and I didn__'__t see him until it was dark, and I was hungry and tired. For the first time in my life I was scared of my father. He came in a little while later, having calmed down and for the first time he took me in his arms and nearly squeezed the air out of my lungs. _

_Kate offered that we stayed with her for a bit, I did, but he didn__'__t. He said he needed to get his head together. Abby offered too, but for some reason, he thought she was a bad influence on someone my age. I liked staying with Kate. We did girly things together with Abby but after a while I missed my father, I missed playing the grand piano that my mother and I played duets together on and showing off on my violin. The next morning, Gibbs came to collect me took me back to my apartment and the door was open. Bin bags were flying out of the door. We went inside and the place was a mess. He__'__d trashed our apartment. Disposing of everything that reminded him of her. I ran to him screaming, untangling myself from Gibbs__'__s grasp. I stood in the door frame watching, tears falling down my face as I watched my father crumble and Gibbs rock him in his arms as he sobbed; like a father comforting his son. _

_They said I was too young to understand. I was 10 years old, my mother was dead__…__I understood that part very well but what I didn__'__t understand was why my father hated me._

_I asked Kate this one day and that was the first time I saw her cry. _

_Just as things were starting to settle, Kate was murdered__…__my best friend. It was like going back to square one. Everyone shut off from each other and I was left to fend for myself__…__this time, no one would help me. It was up to myself to look after them. By then I was 13, I knew how to take care of myself__…__but not several grieving adults._

_At was at this point when Ziva David entered our lives. Everyone at NCIS seemed to hate her but I liked her. I saw it as a resentment towards her because she was Kate__'__s replacement. Sure, she had died a horrible death and it was an awful tragedy__…__but I__'__d been through it before, I__'__d run out of tears to cry. People disappearing out of my life was beginning to become normal for me._

_When Ziva was partnered with my father, it began to make him change. His quirkiness that I__'__d missed so much started to return! He would often tell me about her and I soon met her as she became the one who brought him home after his disastrous nights of supour. My became my friend too, she actually came to me and asked if I could help her with her English because she was too embarrassed to ask anyone at work. So I obliged. She came over to my apartment when dad was on one of his stupid dates and we talked about anything and everything._

_The only thing she refused to talk to me about was her time with mossad. I was just glad to have a friend so didn__'__t push for her trust in me. She told me about her sister Tali and I told her about my mom. I always felt at ease talking about my mom to her__…__it actually felt good to talk about her, I__'__d never really felt able to talk about her to anyone else__…__especially not my father._

The next time I wake, it's nearly 8. Crap. I jump out of bed and grab a quick shower. I washed, dried and straightened my hair before grabbing my keys and heading out to my car. My father had bought it for me for my 18th birthday. That day was probably the second worst day of my life and the best day of my life too. I woke up and went into the lounge and the keys were sitting on the coffee table with a pink ribbon tied around them. It was the first time I'd seen him smile genuinly at my exitment. I always had a fear that I would upset him if I was happy. I couldn't help it.

He wanted to get rid of everything about her but I was not prepared to give up my music. The grand piano stayed and I play it everyday along with my violin. I still sing too, I think he wants me to follow in his footsteps in science but music is where I truly want to be, theatre is what I'd love to do. He says it's a waste, I'm an overachiever at school and he says I could go far but daughters aren't designed to listen to their fathers. My mother would have understood.

I tried to prove to him by auditioning for West Side Story at school and when I played Maria I knew he couldn't help but feel proud.

It's really warm this morning and I have to be in school early because I have a recital at 9. I pause on the sidewalk, wondring if I should take advantage of the nice weather and walk to school instead. I put the keys in my pocket and set off, I'll probably get there quicker anyway. As I'm walking a car beeps behind me. I turn and see Dan in his car.

"You wanna ride?" he calls from the window. I shrug, he's never really spoken to my before, but I know him, he plays the French Horn…beautifully.

"Ok." I say getting in beside him.

"You got your recital this morning?" he asks pulling our in front of a cab.

"Yeah, you?" I ask. _For gods sake, why am I so nervous_….I have to tell Ziva about this later, but maybe not my dad, he'll freak…he doesn't like the thought of him not being the only man in his life…which is ironic seeing as he never seems to be around anyway.

The day goes smoothly, the recital better than expected and even a "well done" from Dan…_ok Bethany, get a grip. _He gives me a ride to NCIS, waves goodbye and rides off. I could have gone home but I decided that I'm not letting my father get away without seeing me today…maybe he'll ask how my recital went. If he remembered, I put a post-it on the fridge last night, but oh yes, he wasn't home.

"Hey Beth" Jenny says, greeting me at the foot of the stairs leading up to MTAC.

"Hey, how's things?" I ask.

"NCIS been swamped all day" I frown, she knows I wasn't talking about work. I'm not stupid-I've noticed those looks shared between her and Gibbs.

"I wasn't talking about work" I smile, she laughs nervously.

"I don't know what your talking about" she says.

"Bethy D" Gibbs holars, running down the stairs. Our chat will have to wait. I love his pet name for me, though my dad hates it. Gibbs is like an uncle to me, when I've had a fight with my dad I usually go to his. I'd go to Ziva's but that where my father runs to instead.

"Hey, Gibbs…" I say in a sing-song voice. "Have you seen my dad?" I ask.

"He's upstairs, where he always is" Gibbs says.

"Thanks, guys, I'll catch you later" I say before going upstairs to see what sort of a mood my father is in.

"Hey, Bethany! How was your recital?" I hear Ziva ask. I turn around…_she__'__s so pretty, why can__'__t my dad see that?_

"It was great…thanks for asking" I say

"and before you go in all guns blazing, he did remember…he does love you" she says softly.

"He has a funny way of showing it sometimes" I say. I can't help feel irratated that she ALWAYS sticks up for him.

Ziva doesn't reply, I don't expect her to. We say our goodbyes and promise to meet for lunch some time this week and I head over to my father's desk. As I expected, his head is buried in a file.

"Hey" he says without looking up. That surprised me!

"How was you recital today…I was thinking of you" he finished, looking up. He looks so tired, I wish he would sleep. I wish I could stop the dreams.

"It was good…look, you know that the choir is singing Faure's Reuiem at the Catherdral on Saturday, I know you said you had to work but there are still some tickets available if you want to change your mind…oh and there's the DC Youth Orchestra playing next weekend…we're doing _The Perfect Fool _you know, the ballet, the one I've been practising?" I plead hoping he takes the hint. I just want my father to hear me sing.

"I'm sorry Bethany, but McGee's got the night off then, Gibbs is gonna be down one Agent as it is…" I feel the tears well up in my eyes. I wish I had as many excuses as he does.

I go home straight away and hammer some Chopin on the paino and some Shostakovich on the violin…sometimes it's the only thing that can make me feel better. I play for hours and hours until the neighbours complain, waiting for him to come home…

But he doesn't.

***


	2. Chapter 2

I don't understand why but he's been more unbearable the last few weeks. He's been disappearing for days at a time! No one knows why…not even Gibbs and he knows everything. Even Ziva seems to be getting pissed off at him. I know Jenny knows something but she won't tell me.

One the occasional chance he was at home, he told me he'd met someone and her name was Jeanne. He also said I would like her. I doubt it, she's not Kate and she's not Ziva or Jenny and she is most definitely NOT going to replace my mother.

While he is gallivanting around with his new girlfriend, I have my audition for the Manhatten School of Music in New York to study Violin and Voice. I would drive myself but my car is in for servicing. I know there's nothing wrong with my car but my father insists that "you never know". He must think I'm stupid. I don't get it, he cares more about my car? I don't understand men at all.

Well, whatever-he's forbidden me to get in a cab, he says it's too expensive. So consequently, poor Ziva has become my Chauffer. I meet her downstairs and she's already there, waiting for me.

"You all set?" she asks, winding down the window and calling across the passenger seat. I nod, well actually, I'm a little nervous, this audition will determine the next four years of my life.

"Hop in then…I'll drop you off if that's ok and you can send me a text when you know what time your train is gonna get in" she says, sounding just how I'd expect my mother to sound. _No, Bethany, Stop it. Stop comparing._

"That's fine" I reply, I wasn't expecting her to wait for me, she has her own life-besides, Gibbs would kill her if she was late for work.

"What time is your train?" she asks.

"10:30" I reply fumbling with my ticket. This isn't the first time I've been away from DC. I've been all over the world with the orchestra but is my first journey alone. The train journey from DC to NY isn't long but I know that the company would atleast settle my nerves a little.

The traffic is murder on the way over and we sit in silence, I'm much too nervous to strike a conversation. We arrive about half an hour later and I climb out and wave goodbye. She wishes me luck and drives away. I can only imagine what she'll say to my father when she sees him.

"_I took your daughter to one of the most important events of her life, today" she'__ll say. He__'__ll look at her blankly and say,_

"_I know, thank you" That won'__t be enough for her and she__'__ll snap and say crossly,_

"_It should have been you"_

Yeah right! Like that would ever happen. I know Ziva loves my father, I don't think either of them realise yet but I've never seen anything so clear since my mother…oh, I…I'll be happy for him when he gets his act together but at the moment, I go into the audition angry. I hammer out all my pain into the pieces I play. If my anger costs me my place at the conservetiore I'm really gonna kill him. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I know I probably sound like a stuck up girl because she's not getting what she wants. Is it so much to ask for my father's attension?

As it happens, my anger had the opposite effect to what I had first thought and they offered me a full scholarship, I greatfully accepted and ran out of the building feeling happy for the first time in a very long time.

I have a little time to spare afterwards so I do a little shopping before I get back on the train. I've always loved New York and my exitment is already bubbling away at the thought of coming here to study. I love DC as well but it's been my home since I was born. I want to escape from it for a while. I get Ziva a little something as a thank you for taking me to the station.

I catch my train few hours later and spend the journey listening to my ipod. For some reason, I have inherited my father's love for Frank Sinatra. I call Ziva to tell her the news.

Ziva meets me outside in excitement and takes me out for dinner but it's cut short when she gets a call from my father…there has been a development of which he cannot speak but he needs Ziva to keep an eye on me. I'm not stupid, I know it has everything to do with Jeanne, I know about the project Le Granquille. I turned up outside Jenny's house and demanded to know everything or I wouldn't leave. Any way, he calls to say that she needs him to cover his ass…apparently Gibbs knows nothing about it.

We drive back to my apartment, my anger boiling knowing he finds spending time with his 'assignment' girlfriend, his fake relationship more appealing than he does his real family.

"Why don't you like Jeanne?" Ziva asks me. I really don't want to talk about it. I seem to always be talking about his ex-girlfriends. I know I'm going to loose my temper any second and I don't want to take it out on her. She doesn't deserve it.

"I tells me all this great stuff about her…it's all Jeanne this, Jeanne that…yet he never lets me see her…and he spends all his time at her place…you know what? I don't think he's even told her about me!" I say, so matter of factly. Infact, the thought had been circulating my mind a lot since this Jeanne came onto the scene and I believe it a miracle I haven't gone mad yet. Ziva frowns, _uh oh, I know that look._

"Don't say that! You're his daughter and he loves you" she says. Is she telling me off? Her tone is so harsh. I want to keep quiet, wait until I get home to release my anger…too later.

"I wanted him to take me, I wanted him to be there, the only reason I got in was because I was so angry at him" I say, tears threatening to fall. I so badly need to hit something otherwise I fear I will explode.

"Arh, I'm so angry…I hate him!" I scream, "I hate him" I shout hitting the dash board with clenched fists.

"Don't you ever say that about your father, ever again, not ever. Do you understand?" _Yep-she__'__s mad_ I don't think I've ever heard her so angry-it's only when she gets really angry you really notice her Israeli accent more. Am I really that much of a bitch? Am I really? Because that's not how I want it to be.

"I just want my dad back" I whisper, I didn't intend to say it outloud but I did anyway. She doesn't reply and we continue the jouney in silence. We've said what we needed to say. I thought I'd feel better…but I don't, I feel worse.

She drops me off at home and I get out and go inside without even saying goodbye. By this point, I think I'm humiliated more than anything else. I don't want to face the world ever again.

When I get inside I slam my keys down on the worktop at take a deep breath before seating myself at the piano. I play, unknowingly for hours I only realise this when my stomach growling adds to the harmony…I'm starving. It's 9.30 in the evening and I don't have the energy to cook, having wasted it on Beethoven, Debussy and Chopin. I pick up the phone and order take-out. I turn on the tv and the news is on; "A doctor and NCIS agent caught up in the middle of a drugs heist" That's where he'll be, I think to myself. Suddenly, I can't stand the thought of being alone.

I pick up my cell and try to call my father knowing how out of control my terrible behavior has become over the last few days. I am really impossible to live with? As I expected his voice mail kicks in but it's a comfort in itself just to hear his voice. I leave a message.

"Hey, saw the news, hope you and Jeanne are ok maybe I'll see you in the morning" I hang up and send a text to Ziva saying nothing but "Sorry" I don't know what else to say. The take-out arrives shortly afterwards and I pay the guy and shut the door. I sit on the couch of the apartment that used to be full of joy and laughter.

I've never felt so alone. I can't stay in this apartment any longer and I go to the only person I know who will be awake at this hour.

"Bethany?" Gibbs said surprised. I try my best to look as if I haven't been crying.

"Sorry, were you asleep?" I ask. He smiles knowing that I know he wouldn't be asleep. He opens the door wide, letting me in.

"Nah, I was just doing some work on the boat…come on in. I'll make you some cocoa" he said ushering me inside.

"Shall I call your dad and tell him where you are?" he asks reaching for some mugs. I shake my head.

"No, he doesn't care…he's got enough on his plate" I say. I hear him sigh.

"That's not true" he says. I'm sick of hearing people saying that to me.

"Your more of a father to me than he is" I say, usually, if I hadn't been so tired I'd have more control over my thoughts. I'd never intended to say that out loud. The whistling of the kettle distracted him for a moment and he mixed up the chocolaty beverage.

"Your father has been through a lot…" He begins. I heard a lot of people say that too. But Gibbs knows what an ass-hole my father can be.

"and I know what he's put you through is probably unforgivable…but he is your father" Gibbs is a very wise man. I felt hounered that he trusted me enough to tell me about Kelly and Shannon.

We chat for a little while longer but then he suggests that I head home to get some rest. I say my goodbyes feeling a little more comforted after my heart to heart with Gibbs. When I get in, I'm so tired I flop down on the couch to relax my aching muscles.

The next morning I wake up and find myself on the couch, I must have fallen asleep. The TV is still on, it's nearly 3.30am but I'm fully awake even though I've had hardly any sleep. I check my cell phone and low and behold! There is a text from my father.

"We're both fine, staying with Jeanne tonight. See you in the morning x"

Atleast they're both ok, I thought, feeling guilty about what I'd said about the kid…I barely knew him after all. I also had a text from Ziva.

"It's fine, don't worry about it"

Well, I'd heard from both of them in the last 12 hours so that was a huge relief. I get up and have a hot shower. By the time I get out it's only 4:15 and it's much too early to pracise paino. I flick through the TV but there's nothing decent on so I decide to go for a drive, nowhere in particular, anywhere but being in the apartment on my own.

Outside, the streets are eerily quiet, I pull on a hoody as it's quiet chilly and the sun hasn't even begun to rise yet. I wonder about stopping by at the lab, McGee has a night shift…maybe he's there, atleast I'll have someone to talk to, I need someone to make me laugh. I make my decision as I come to a halt at a red light. Yep, I'll go to NCIS...Abby might even be there. When the light goes green, I cruise slowly around the bend, you never know what's coming. The next thing I know I feel the most enormous jolt that sends my car spinning. At 100 miles an hour, the thought races through my head, the light was green, the light was green. This wasn't my fault.

When the car stops, I'm not sure if I'm awake or not, it's one of those strange sensations just as your waking up from a dream…but I know that this is not a dream. Even thought I can't move myself, I can feel myself being dragged out of the car. Am I dead? Am I being dragged down the golden tunnel of light? I strain to open my eyes and groan at the pain in my head. I can taste a bitterness in my mouth…blood. A strain my vision to try and work out whats going on and I see a blurry face which I don't recognise.

_Oh, boy. This can__'__t be good._


	3. Chapter 3

_Oh. My. God. My head is still pounding and my arm is still throbbing but at least it warm and dry…warm and dry? I'm…I'm in a hospital? I'm actually alive? How the fuck am I gonna explain this? I try to sit up but I still feel a little woozy so I lie back down._

"_Bethany?" __Ahh! Too loud, my head. The sound ripples through my head. _

I open my eyes and see the face of my father. We look at each other for a while before we fly into each others arms. He's squeezing me so tight the pain is becoming unbearable but it's worth it to be in the arms of my father. 

"I thought you were dead!" he says sobbing. I close my eyes because I can't bear to see him crying anymore.

"So did I" I whisper. Suddenly I realise what I said I was going to do.

"I'm sorry" I begin. He looks at me in confusion.

"What for? If anyone's apologising it should be me!" he says but I give him no room to argue with me.

"I've been a nightmare with my behaviour and everything, I just needed to tell you I'm sorry and I don't hate you, I didn't mean all the horrible things I told Ziva" I said, crying…where's all this emotion coming from. He wipes my tears with his thumbs.

"I've been the worst father, after your mother died, I wasn't there for you, I tried to act as if you weren't there because I thought it would make it easier for me. It didn't and I've been such a fool. You're my daughter Bethany and I love you. You've grown up to be a beautiful young women and I've had my head buried in the sand for most of that which I regret every minute of" He finishes. Suddenly, the last 8 years seem to dissolve and I don't want to hold any of it against him.

I just want to start again.

***

I'm am going bazzurk! Having my arm in plaster is bad enough but I am so totally bored out of my mind. The whole abduction thing hasn't been spoken of since I left hospital and I think I can say that things are returning to normal, slowly but surely. Jeanne and her father slipped out of the traces of the FBI. They had insisted that the case had to be taken out of the hands of NCIS. Gibbs was fuming that they had let them slip away. 

You know when you can tell that someone is different but you can't figure out what it is about them? Well, that's all I can say regards to my father. It's almost like he's trying to everything to make me happy but he's trying too hard and it's freaking me out a little.

I wake up this morning and I hear the most unusual thing I wonder if I'm dreaming. I climb out of bed with difficulty and this chunky sling on my arm is nothing but a nusence. I'm amazed to see my father, sitting at the piano playing some smooth jazz. I creep into the lounge, trying not to disturb him but he hears me and stops. He looks up waiting for me to say something. 

"You never told me you could play!" I say trying to remember if I've ever heard him play before, I heard him play bass guitar but never the piano.

"I can" he says getting up. "But I chose to stop" he says, I don't need to ask him why.

"How's your arm?" he asks changing the subject and I let him.

"It's fine. Abby keeps asking me if she can sign my cast" I say, he laughs. He's doing that more and more. Things are changing for the better so quickly I sometimes think that I've woken up in a parallel universe.

"What did you say?" he asks.

"I said…that maybe you would take me down there today so I could say hi to everyone" I say trying to persuade him to let me out the house. Seeing as I still don't have a car (damn insurance) and, even if I did have a car I wouldn't be able to drive it. 

"Are you sure you're up to it?" he says. I'm bouncing off the bloody walls, I need to go out! I nod.

"Fine, but Ziva's picking me up" he says. I frown, not in a bad way, in an intriuged way. She picked him up yesterday, and the day before that. If something's going on I think I should know about it. I don't question him now. I'm merely going to wait till the car jouney and observe.

There is a knock at the door. That must be her. I rush to answer it.

"Hey, Ziva!" I say, I think it sounded strangely exited. She looks as pretty as ever. She smiles as soon as I open the door.

"Hey, Bethany. How's the arm?" she asks.

"Fractured…in two places" I say.

"I know that, I meant, how are you?" she asks. I shrug.

"I'm fine." I say. I'm sorry but the whole incident has not turned me into a nervous wreck. Maybe it should have, but in a way, those people turned my life around. If I hadn't have been abducted, things would have just carried on as they were. 

"I've got some news, Tobias Fornell caught Jeanne and her father trying to board a flight to Paris at the JFK Airport in New York," she said, I smile to myself. 

My father puts down his coffee mug and strides over to her, a would-be grin on his face and if I hadn't been there he'd have probably hugged her.

"Bethany's gonna pop into the office for a little while to say hi to the guys, is it ok if she comes with us?" he asks. Ziva nods her head.

"Sure" she says.

The journey is silent. I was expecting more action than this. I know Ziva's a fast driver but she seems to drive more cautiously around me, especially with my arm. I manage to get out of the car un-aided but my father helps me slip on a coat because it's starting to rain.

"Bethy D, long time no see" Gibbs sing songs his riddle as he sees us enter the squad room. His uncharacteristic antics attract the attention of McGee and Abby who also come out to say hi. Ziva and my father manage to disappear during this.

"Can I sign your cast?" McGee asks, like a kid in a candy shop.

"Sure, if you find a pen" I say, he digs deep into his coat pocket. He finds one and I lift my arm out of the sling so he can write on it.

"Please don't write anything rude on it, I have a hospital appointment tomorrow" I say sternly. 

"Sure thing, m'lady" he says concentrating hard. Abby pats me on the other shoulder.

"So, how's things?" she asks me.

"Fine, things are good, I'm going back to school next week" I say.

"When can you start playing again?" Jenny asks, suddenly appearing from her office. Come to think of it, I don't actually know. I know she still blames herself for what happened but I don't. People are not understanding that the abduction actually changed my life for the better. Come to think of it, I don't actually know.

"I'm not sure, I'll ask tomorrow" I say looking around to see where my father went. What is going on here? Gibbs brings me out of my trance. He takes the pen from McGee and starts writing on my cast too.

"So, what's the deal between Ziva and your dad?" he asks coyly. I know how he feels about rule 12.

"You guys need to get some new stories" I say pushing him away lightly, he's finished writing on my cast. I lift it up to inspect it.

_Hey, Bethy D! Thanx 4 letting me write on ur cast! Gibbs x _Very original Gibbs, I think. Though it's something I'd expect from Abby, not him.

"Come on? Surely you'd know. They've been getting rides to work with each other. Tell us the office romance of the year is gonna happen" Abby pleads. I shake my head. I know my father and Ziva, both as stubborn as each other. I don't want to get the guys hopes up, nor mine.

"I'm not really sure, you know I would tell you, honestly…" I say slowly "I've got my suspicions" I say smiling, the team smiles back. 

As if on cue, my father comes round the corner. We didn't mean to make it so obvious we'd been talking about him but we did. 

"What?" he says observing our grins.

"Nothing" I say, trying to think of an excuse.

"I was just saying that…" I say, god I need to think of something quick.

"Ziva gave us a lift today" that was pretty good I thought, it wasn't a lie, I was telling the truth, sort of. He raises his eye brows, the way he does when he knows people are keeping secrets from him. If anyone's keeping secrets from anyone around here…it's him. I do get my sneaky jean from Anthony DiNozzo. 

When I look around the rest of the team has dispersed. Great, leaving me to handle him. 

"Where's Ziva?" I ask. He suddenly takes me by my non-plastered arm into a corner and whispers.

"I was thinking about inviting Ziva over for dinner tonight, you know, you ay thankyou for everything she's done with your accident, you know" he's stumbling, and it's the cutest thing ever imaginable. He's using me as an excuse to invite her over for dinner but really he just wants to spend more time with her.

"Sure, you've got my blessing" I say skipping off before he can question what I've said. 

My cell phone vibrates in my pocket, it's Dan, my stomch flip flops.

"Hey!" I say, trying to sound casual.

"Hey" comes his reply, "How are you?" he asks.

"Fine, I'm fine" I say.

"Look, I know you can't do any playing but there's a fab jazz pianist playing at the jazz club tonight, if you're up to it maybe we could go. I got given two tickets and I don't wanna go by myself, I immediately thought of you" he says. My heart melts. I can't say no. Maybe dad can have Ziva all to himself after all.

"Sure, that would be great!" I say, 

"I'll pick you up a 7. Is that ok?" he asks. I nod, realising I'm on a phone.

"Yes, great. See you then!" I say snapping my cell phone shut. 7pm? It's 10:30am, I've only got 8 and a half hours to get ready! I rush home, there's so much to be done!

I briefly step into the squad room.

"Erm, change of plans, I'm going to the Jazz club with Dan tonight, so it will just be you and Ziva, is that ok?" I ask, he certainly doesn't look dissapointed. He gets what he wants, I get what I want, we're both happy. I wait for the realisation to cut across his face. With the worry and realisation that his postion as most important man in my life is under threat.

"Who's Dan?"

"Oh, he's just some guy I know" I say trying to wind him up…it's seriously working.

"Some guy? How old is he? How long have you known him? What's his surname?" Ha, as if he think's I would tell him that! I know exactly what he'd do.

"He goes to my school, he's in my choir, he's 3 months older than me I've known him since I joined the choir and I'm not telling you his surname because you'll only put his name throught the data base-I'm not stupid. I'm not a baby dad, I know what I'm doing, ok?" I lecture him. He backs down, knowing that I'm not gonna change my mind.

"Where are you going now?" he asks,

"To buy a new outfit" I say. 

"With one arm?" he asks. That never stops a woman from doing what they do best…he has so much to learn.

"It is possible to shop with one arm…I'll see you later, what time will you be home?" I ask.

He looks at his watch, as if that's gonna give him the answer!

"About 5.30" I can't answer, he's NEVER home before 9 o clock.

"Wow, you've got your heart set on this!" I say, very impressed. He looks mock hurt.

"I just want to show Ziva how much I…" he was gonna say, I know he was, "care" he finishes. So close! Well, he's got himself over the first hurdle so that's a start…and to think I thought I might have to help him!

I smile, noticing him blush, it's the most sweetest thing I've ever seen him do…under all that agent-ness and detectivenss-ness. He's the biggest softie anyone could ever imagine. 

"I'll see you later" I say, heading out of the lab.

Dead on 5:30, he walks in the door. I'm in my room trying to curl my hair when I hear the door open, curling hair with one arm is impossible to I give up and just leave it as it is, giving it a quick brush. I slip into my silk turqouise dress that I bought earlier. It comes just above the knee and has thin straps. I also bought some matching turqouise satin sandels. 

"Hey!" I hear him say.

"How do I look?" I say, I think I scrub up quiet well, having done it all one handed. It's just a shame the ugly cast ruins it all.

"You look gorgeous"

"What time is Ziva coming over?" I ask.

"6:30" he says putting down his keys. 

"You've got an hour to get ready" I tell him, the flustered look on his face tells me he knows this.

"I know, I'm just gonna get changed then I'll put the dinner on" he says rushing off to his bedroom.

"What are you having?" I call into his room.

"Lasagne…do you think it will be alright?" he asks. Aww, he's nervous! 

"Sounds nice, what else are you gonna do?" I ask completely innocent.

"Bethany!" he says sternly.

"Alright, alright!" I say laughing.

"Be home by 10:30" he says, my jaw drops. He's got to be joking.

"11.30" I argue.

"11" He says back, emerging from the room with a clean shirt and tie on. Nah, the tie won't do, he's always wearing a tie.

"Done" I say. "Take the tie off, you look better without it" I say reaching for it and giving it a tug, I can't take it off myself but he gets the hint.

6:30 on the dot and she's here, and he's more flustered than ever, I would offer to help him but I can't, I answer the door for him instead.

"Hey" I say…she looks stunning. I let her him and watch for my father's reaction. I need a camera, the look is pricless.

My father can't seem to speak and an awquard silence falls. This can't do.

"If you want, you can watch a movie…he has plenty of them!" I pipe up. My father wonders over to the DVD rack.

"What do you fancy?" he asks, she turns to me.

"What do you recommend?" she asks, I think for a second.

"Stigmata is a good film" I say.

"Is it scary?" she asks me. I laugh, shaking my head.

"Nah" I say. My father snorts.

"Don't ask her that. She doesn't find any horror film scary" he says.

"The only thing I find scary is you're cooking!" I laugh, hearing the smoke alarm go off as the poor meal ends before it even begins. He races over to the oven and pulls out the charcole dish. I've never seen his face so red.

"Ziva? Do you fancy a take out instead?" 

My father is a hopeless romantic.

***

Thank the lord that Dan turns up early and I make my exit. Hopefully if I leave them to there own devices they'll be able to work it out somehow. Our car journey is full of conversation and laughing. Unlike the other car journeys I've done with Ziva and my father. 

"I didn't know your dad was a Special Agent until what happened" he says looking at my cast sheepishly before focusing back on the wheel.

"Really? He likes to make himself known" I laugh. 

"You're arm though, does it hurt?" he asks.

"Nope, not really" I say flicking it to make my point. The hardness of the cast hurts my fingers though. I try not to show this, I'm bound to embarress myself more before the evening's out.

"I'm glad, when they said they couldn't find you…" he trails off.

"I'm fine, my friends are the toughest agents in DC. I'm covered!" I say cheerfully, this cheers him up as we talk about things of more uplifting content.

The jazz club we're going to, I've been there before. Dad played his bass guitar there once and it's quite a nice place. 

The show is great, the music is good and the drinks are cheap. I make a mental note to get dad to bring Ziva here one night. At the end, everyone files out leaving chairs askue and empty glasses everywhere.

"What shall we do now?" I ask, he looks around to the grand piano on the stage. I get what he's meaning.

"Are you trying to wind me up?" I say jokingly. He laughs.

"Come on, you can just use your right arm, I'll play bass chords and you, you can improvise" he smiles, and it ha an odd effect on me. Is this how my dad makes Ziva feel?

"Oh, fine…name your key?" I say. He laughs and helps me up onto the platform. The stool is big enough for both of us to sit on and he sits at the bottom end and I sit at the top. 

"A flat major" he says.

"Done" I say watching him strike the first few chords. I recognise the bass line. It's the one I always use to do blues improvisation. I always start off badly but I get better, more daring and adventurous. 

We play for quite a long time and we stop when we hear a 'ahem' coming from below the stage, out in the audience. I can only assume he's the manager or something. We look at him, like deer caught in the head lights.

"No, don't stop" he says. My heart starts beating at a regular rhythem. 

"We're sorry, we were just…" Dan leaps to my defence.

"No, it's ok…I thought it was great. You do a lot of improv, Honey?" he asks me. I nod, this man just smiles at me even more.

"What happened to your arm?" he says observing the cast sitting in my lap.

"I broke it" I say dumbly. _I broke it? What sort of answer is that, Bethany you plank._

I hear Dan laugh a little. 

"You should hear her play both hands" he says, with a hint of…pride.

"When will you get your cast of little lady?" the man asks again with a New York accent.

"Tomorrow" I say. His face lights up.

"When can you start playing again…because, we've got a slot coming up on Wednesday evenings from 7 until 11, $100 a night, you up for it when you're feeling better?" he asks, I look at Dan in shock. He gives me an encouraging nod.

"Yeah, sure, thanks" I say. I can't believe this I go on a date and come back with a job? Only I could do that.

"I'll get you a contract form you can fill in and send it back to me ASAP. Ok?" he says rushing off into the back of the club. 

"Can you believe that?" I say, I'm really excited now. 

"Does this mean I can come and listen to you for free?" he asks laughing.

"I'm sure we can work something out" I say nudging him in the ribs. The man comes back again with somepapers.

"There you go, Honey" he says handing me the paper. 

"My name's Joe Fanning, by the way" he says hinting to know my name.

"Bethany DiNozzo" I say extending my free hand to shake. 

We say goodbye and leave. The car journey is just as energetic as it was on the way over. I wonder how dad's date went….

Soon after Bethany left, Tony ordered a chinese and sat with Ziva on the couch, each with a glass of wine in hand. 

"So, you decided on the movie yet?" he asks. She puts down her glass and wonders over to the wrack. It appears that Bethany's choice has been forgotten.

"Mamma Mia?" she says smiling.

"That's Bethany's. It's in her wrack" he replies sipping at his wine.

"You keep your DVD's separate?" she asks.

"We went through a phase of competing against each other to see who had the most DVD's. Her collection is on that side of the TV, and mine on the other" he says pointing to each side of the TV.

"Well, Mamma Mia is in your rack, Tony" she says laughing.

"We can watch it if you like. I haven't seen it before" he says. Ziva raises her eye brows.

"It's not the sort of film I'd have expected you to have seen" she says. He gets up and puts the DVD in the player. When it comes on sound echoes everywhere.

"Christ Tony, do you really have a home cinema system?" she says.

"Bethany won it in some composition competition, god, try saying that when your drunk. She was 15 at the time, she could have had vouchers for a music store but no, she chose this instead" he says proudly as if he was glad she chose the cinema system instead.

"Your daughter is the most talented, bright, funny, intelligent girl I've ever met" Ziva says. "Her friends are very lucky" she finishes.

"I'm lucky" Tony replies looking at the screen as the intro begins.

"I haven't been a very good father since Claire died but she hung in there and now, things are starting to get better. But neither of us would have been able to do that without you Ziva" he says, he doesn't think he's ever been this serious about anything before.

"It's ok. We're partners, that's what we do, look after each other" she says. Relaxing back into the sofa.

"yeah, but I wasn't there for you. I was too wrapped up in my own little world. I wasn't there when you needed me the most" he says, guilt washing over him.

"You just being there, around me everyday, was enough" she says, "that's all I needed" she says.

"Ziva I know we've known each other for a long time, we've been through a lot together and I…" they are disturbed by a knock at the door.

Their little conversation is buried for the time being as they eat their meal, talking about work and Bethany and Gibbs and Jenny. They turn back to watch the film and after about an hour of watching. Tony turns to her, realising she has fallen asleep on him, her head resting on his chest.

"Oh, Ziva" he says before falling asleep himself.


	4. Chapter 4

By the time I arrive home, it's gone 11.30. Ooops, oh well. Ever the gentleman, Dan walks me to my apartment door. He kisses me on the cheek and says he'll call me soon.

I enter the apartment on a high, I don't care what my father has to say about my lateness I expect him to be waiting for me but instead I see a sight I'd never see, not in a million years.

My father, is fast asleep with his arms around Ziva and she is leaning on his chest, she too, sound asleep.

_Look at them _I think to myself. The TV is still on so I creep over to turn it off. I'm just about to leg it to my room when I'm caught out.

"What time do you call this?" he asks, sternly.

"I, er…got distracted and sort of forgot the time" I say, my dad gets the wrong end of the stick. The look on his face proves this to me.

"Not like that!" I say, I wait for him to respond with some wisecrack but he doesn't. He waits for my explanation and I'm gald to give it to him.

"I got offered a job, if you must know. When my arm is all better, they want me to play every Wednesday night from 7-11. I'll get paid $100 a night, isn't it great?" I say.

"That's fantastic!" he says quietly as not to wake Ziva up. "But get to bed now!" he says sternly. I raise my eyebrows.

"You can talk…look you stay there, I'll get you a blanket and some pillows" I say slipping off my shoes as I go into his room. I pass him some pillows and a duvet and head to my own room.

They should do this more often.

***

The next morning, I awoke to here a door slam shut. I jumped out of bed and wondered into the lounge. Ziva is gone.

"What's going on?" I ask sleepily. My father scratches his head equally confused.

"I think I just messed it up" he said sorrowfully.

_Already? _I thought.

"She thinks she's interfering between us" he began. I frowned, Ziva has every right to be happy and I would be over the moon if her happiness was found with him. I run into my room and get dresses. It's a Saturday so there's no school and I'm determined to set Ziva straight. She shouldn't be sacrificing her own happiness for mine…she's been part of my life for so long now.

I rush back into my room and throw on some clothes as quickly as I can manage on handed and go to leave the apartment. My father is still standing in the same place when I left, looking severely confused.

"Where are you going?" he shouts quickly just before I reach the door.

"Out" I say

"You're not my fairy godmother, you know that…I'd appreciate it if you stayed out of my business, please!" he says. Like hell I'm going to keep out of this. I ignore him and grab a set of door keys.

"Don't forget your hospital appointment is at 11" he says, I just catch watch he says before I slam the door shut. I'm hardly going to forget when I have the big,

heavy cast on my arm to remind me.

I power walk to NCIS, it's only 6.30 and no one will be there yet…accept Ziva of course, I know her better than she thinks I do.

The elevator dings as it reaches the floor and I step out of it into the quiet office. I turn the corner to see Ziva seated at her desk staring at Tony's desk opposite her.

"You left before I had a chance to say good morning!" I say hands on hips. She doesn't look up.

"Did you have a good evening last night?" I ask. She ignores me again.

"Hello?" I slam my free hand down on her desk.

"What?" she says irritably.

"You just left…why? Dad is confused as hell, is his snoring really that bad because I've been telling him to see a doctor about it" I say, trying to lighten the conversation-anything to get her to talk. Seeing her and my father unhappy like this is unbearable.

"It was wrong of me to stay" she said bluntly. I frown, not satisfied with her answer.

"What?" I say, not quite understanding what she's getting at.

"It's not fair on you…you've been through so much lately, you need your father and I'm getting in the way of that!" she said, her voice breaking slightly.

"What I need…is my father to be happy, You have no idea how happy he is when he is with you, please don't you this to yourself, I know you love him…every body knows it. What are people going at say when they notice you're in the same clothes as yesterday? There are rumours starting to circulate, you know" I finish, slightly out of breath.

"Bethy D, where's your father?" Gibbs whirls around the corner. Thank goodness he wasn't a few minutes earlier.

"Er, he's on his way" I respond quickly. Gibbs looks at me and frowns.

"What are you doing here? And a nearly 7 in the morning?" he asks.

"Erm…I have a…hospital appointment, just dropped in to say hi to Ziva coz I might not see her today, I got rehearsals at school…" I finish but Gibbs is too quick.

"Bethany it's a Saturday, you cannot rehearse…your arm is in plaster" Busted!

"I just needed to talk to Ziva about something important" I say.

"What?" he asks

"Girl stuff!" I say, Gibbs immediately backs off. That always works like a charm.

"Oh, I see…can I see you up in MTAC after?" he asks, shuffling through some papers.

"Yeah sure, I've pretty much said all I needed to say anyway…bye Ziva" I say, she looks at me and smiles weakly…this whole thing is killing her.

I follow Gibbs up to MTAC, he lets me in and shuts the door behind me.

"What's going on between Ziva and your father?" he asks. I've been wondering how long it would be before we could have this conversation.

"I honestly don't know…I'm feeling very confused about it" I answer quite honestly. Gibbs sighs.

"You know how I feel about rule 12" he begins.

"I know and so do they which is why they…" opps, Gibbs is very good at getting me to spill the beans, he always has.

"They wouldn't do anything, they're too afraid of each other and your rule 12...it's actually very irritating" I conclude, Gibbs frowns.

"What is? my rule 12 or them being afraid of each other?" I laugh nervously.

"Not that latter, obviously" Gibbs relaxes a little.

"When are they going to knock their head together then?" he asks. I'm dumb stuck.

"Excuse me?" I say, I certainly wasn't expecting that.

"I'm not going to be able to stop it what it happens am I? I just need to be aware of it that's all. Rule 12 is there for a reason you know" he says,

"It's there because of your own experience, because of what happened between you and Jenny…" the words come out of my mouth before they can stop them.

"Exactly, I don't want that to happen to them" he says calmly. I was expecting his reaction to be a lot worse.

"Me either" I say. I wait for a short while before I make my next move.

"It's a shame what happened between you and Jenny, I mean, I love you both, you're both like family to me and I hate to see you dance around each other" I say. Gibbs' eyes look sad, I sense that he understands completely.

"I've got to go, otherwise I'll be late, dad should be here by now" I say turning to leave. He touches my shoulder gently, turning me to face him.

"Thank you" he says, I'm taken aback.

"What for?" I ask, I have no idea what I've said but he appears to be grateful that I've said it.

"For saying that I'm like family to you" he says. Aww, Gibbs can be adorable at times. I turn around fully and give him a hug which he reciprocates.

"You _are _family to me…uncle Gibbs!" I say jokingly.

"Not grandpa Gibbs then?" he laughs letting go of me.

Before I leave I say another goodbye to Ziva and my father. They seemed to have recovered from their mishap this morning because they are openly flirting again. McGee raises his eye brows at me and I give him a high five.

I briefly nip into the bathroom and as soon as I enter I hear someone wrenching in one of the stalls.

"Hello?" I call, "are you alright?" I ask. I suddenly hear the flushing of the toilet and the sharp bolt of the lock of the door turning. I'm shocked to see who it is.

"Jenny?" I say rushing to her. She looks pale and exhausted.

"Bethany? You ok?" she asks me. I look at her incredulously.

"Me? I'm fine…you don't sound ok" I say sounded genuinely concerned…it's not like _Director Sheppard _to get ill.

"I'm fine, Bethany really…just something I ate" She says feigning a weak smile. I get the feeling that no matter what, she's never going to tell me what's _really _going on.

"ok, as long as you're sure…I can get Ziva for you, or Gibbs?" I say

"No, not Gibbs, not Ziva…I'm fine, Thank you Bethany" she says. It's only because I have to get my ass to the hospital that I let our encounter go…for now.

"You should really go home if you're sick!" I try one more time, just for good luck.

"Bethany! I'm fine" she says, splashing a little water on her face.

"No if you excuse me, I have somewhere to be!" she said, exiting the bathroom.

Now I'm really confused.

***


	5. Chapter 5

_It feels like I'm sitting around for hours waiting for my name to be called. I nose through some of the magazines, none of them are really any good and I'm relieved when the nurse calls my name…even if she does pronounce __DiNozzo _wrong.

The whole process of getting my cast removed is very quick and my arm is cleaned and ready to go in no time.

The nurse tells me it might take a few days to get the mobility back but at least I can start playing again…I missed it so much.

Just as I'm leaving the hospital I see a familiar face, one I've already seen this morning. _Jenny?_

I watch her heading up to the oncology ward. What the hell is going on? Before I can stop myself I am following her. Jenny can't have cancer? Surely?

I watch her go into the clinic. I wait for her outside the clinic entrance for about an hour. When she finally comes out and stand up to greet her.

"Bethany, what the hell are you doing here?" she says loudly, suddenly looking around her to check that no one heard her. I hold my arm up-the cast removed.

"I had it taken off just now…what are you doing here?" I say, She tries to walk away from me but I'm far too worried to ignore this now. Does anyone else know about it? Probably not, I think.

She halts before me and stays silent for several minutes. I can think of nothing to say to break up the thick silence that has fallen between us.

"Jenny?" I beg. I've known her for so long and I'd like to think that we were close and she could trust me with anything. The silence is starting to become unbearable.

"I…" She begins, there's no going back now.

"…have…a brain tumour. It's inoperable" she says, I've never heard her sound so broken. For the first time in my whole life I have nothing to say…what could I say?

"What?" is all I can stutter.

"I'm dying" she says bluntly. I can see so much emotion in her eyes. I also see a sense of relief that she has told someone.

"Oh my God, I'm…" I can't seem to speak. She shakes her head at me.

"Just, don't say anything, please. No one must know do you understand?" She says, I can't believe what I'm hearing.

"what! You're not going to tell anyone? They're agents, they're gonna notice something is wrong!" I say, I don't think I'm going to be able to control my emotion for much longer. 

"I've just signed a form requesting to stop my treatment" I hear her say. I just can't register it all.

"How long have you known?" I ask, purely out of interest so I can work out how long she has managed to keep this news a secret.

"5 months" she says.

"Gibbs would want to know, he could help you out…I know he would, he'd want to" I try but she shakes her head at me again.

"Jenny…if there's anything, anything at all I can do…" I start but my voice catches in my throat.

"Thank you Bethany, You're a really sweet girl, kind, compassionate. You're everything I could have wanted for a daughter" her words are kind and touching.

"I've made some decision in my life that I'm not proud of. If me and Gibbs now…it would break his heart all over again…I don't want to put him through what happened with Kelly and Shannon again…" she says.

"Regardless of whether you admit your feelings for each other, he's still going to feel that way after you've gone" I tell her. I think she knows it but is trying to convince herself that by easing her own pain, she is saving Gibbs pain too.

"When you go back to NCIS, you don't say a word about this, not to anyone, not your father…no one, do you understand?" she says sternly. I nod.

"If is they ask you if you've seen me, you haven't, ok?" she instructs. I nod again.

"Do you want me to drive for you?" I say, I desperately want to start again after finally getting my cast off. Jenny smiles.

"No, I'm just going to walk, it's not far" she says.

"Ok" I reply.

"Go on, everyone will be wondering where you are" she says.

"They'll be wondering where you are too" I hint.

She smiles and walks past me. Before I know it, she's gone.

***

When I get back to NCIS, as soon as I get out the elevator my father rushes up to me. He takes me by the shoulders.

"Where the hell have you been?" he says frantically.

"At the hospital" I say, frowning.

"All this time? Why didn't you answer your cell?" My hand flew to my pocket. I turned it off when I went into the hospital and must have forgotten to turn it back on again.

"Sorry, I switched it off" I said apologetically. He looks at me in embarrassment, he notices that everyone is looking at him.

"What?" he snaps at them all. They begin to busy themselves. Ziva comes up to him.

"She's a big girl, Tony" she tells him, her hand on his shoulder. I laugh, she always sets him straight.

"What are you going to be like when I go to New York?" I ask him. He suddenly looks horrified, as if he'd forgotten that I was leaving home in less than 8 months time.

"I'll need some major distracting" he said.

"Oh, I'm sure we'll think of something" Ziva chuckles. I frown at them both.

"What?" they both say together, for me, it doesn't bare thinking about.

"Gross" I say.

"Bethy D, have you seen Jenny?" Gibbs asks, I halt. I remember our conversation at the hospital and it breaks his heart.

"Er, nope…haven't seen her at all today" I lie, it kills me to do so because Gibbs looks quite worried.

"Neither have I" he says. "I have some important news for her" he says wondering off without another word.

Suddenly I can't stand to be around anyone at NCIS, just in case I let out the secret.

"Bethany?" my dad calls after me but I ignore him.

***

When I get home, I shut myself in my room and put on my iPod speakers. Pulling out my big photo album, I glance over the memories captured through picture. I can't get the thought out of my head that Jenny is going to die and I'm the only one who knows. It's unbearable pressure on me and I can't begin to wonder what it was like for Jenny before she told me.

Dad arrives home a little later and I wake up when I hear the door shut. There are muffled voices and I assume his has brought Ziva home with him…again. I rub my face and rid my eyes of tears so they don't know I've been crying. I just can't face them yet.

"Bethany, We're back?" he calls through the apartment. _We're? _Ziva's practically living with us now?

"Beth? I'm making the meatballs in the tomato sauce you like…it's your favourite!" he yells, the very thought of food makes me feel sick.

"I'm not hungry" I shout from my room. That's very unusual for me so I expect a worried response.

"Are you alright?" he asks, gently knocking at my door.

"Don't come in…" I scream, tears filling my eyes.

"Honey, what's the matter?" he presses, I just want them to leave me alone. 

"Nothing, nothing I'm fine" I say knowing full well that he doesn't believe me.

"Is it Dan? Have you fallen out?" he says angrily.

"No, no! it's nothing to do with him. Just please, leave me alone, I'm just tiered that's all! I promise!" I say, finally he backs down.

I hear the clattering of pots and pans and the aroma for tomato sauce fills the apartment. I lie still on my bed, I desperately want to talk to Jenny but I know if she wants to talk, she'll call me. I hear my bedroom door creek open slowly and I hear the soft padding of small feet approaching me. I don't need to turn over to know it's Ziva who has come to pry the truth out of me. But I'm not going to budge. I made a promise and I'm not going to break it.

"Bethany, talk to me…you might be fooling your father, but I know when someone's lying" she says gently placing a hand on my shoulder. I roll over to face her.

"I just got some bad news" I say playing my cards carefully.

"Oh, would you like to talk about it?" she asks, brushing my hair out of my face. She's my best friend and no matter how much I want to tell her, I know I can't.

"No" I say.

"It will make you feel better" she hints. I know she's good at keeping secrets but that is not the point. I promised not to tell. Gibbs has some rule about secrets-the best way to keep a secret is to keep it to yourself. Maybe I'll use that as my trump card when I finds out I've known all along.

"I found out that an old friend of mine from school died from cancer" I lie, I hate lying to people but I'd rather do that than break a promise. "She moved to Arizona two years ago when she was first diagnosed" I finish, hoping that Ziva will fall for it. I'm not exactly lying. Someone I used to know did move to Arizona after her _mother _was diagnosed with breast cancer. 

"Oh, Bethany I'm so sorry" she says soothingly. I don't want to say anything more in case I blow my cover.

"Dinner will be ready in a while" she says.

"I told dad I'm not hungry" I say sitting up clutching a hippo similar to Abby's Bert. It used to fart like hers too but the batteries went dead long ago and I never got round to replacing them.

"Are you staying?" I ask. 

"If that's ok" she asks in return.

"It's fine by me" I reply. These two are starting to drive me mad. The keep dancing around their relationship for far too long and it's starting to get ridiculous.

"Well, I'll put some aside in case you're hungry later ok?" she says maternally. She has told me in the past that she has no maternal instincts what ever but I have to disagree with her. I think she'd make a great mother one day…I'd like a brother or sister one day.

"Thanks"

She quietly leaves the room and I get ready for bed and fall asleep almost instantly. 

***

I get woken by the sound of shrill vocals, it's only my father. He and Ziva have decided to sing along with the Mamma Mia DVD. Ziva has always had a great voice though she denies it completely. It's 11pm. I turn over and try to get back to sleep.

I wake up early the next morning to the smell of pancakes…dad _never _cooks breakfast! I get out of bed and get a quick shower. It's a Sunday so he doesn't have to be in work. I realise what the day is and it dawns on me that I have a concert this evening and he's promised he that he will attend…I also ordered him to bring Ziva along as his plus one.

Dressed in jeans and a baggy DC Youth orchestra tour t-shirt I approach the glorious smell of pancake batter.

"You? Cooking breakfast?" I laugh as he spoons some mixture into a frying pan.

"Yes, me!" he replies, proud of himself.

"Your father has many hidden talents…" Ziva's voice startles me. I whirl around and stare, my jaw drops to the floor. She's just wearing a rope…

_Jeez, I really must have been sleeping like a log!_

This scenario has played in my head a lot but in reality it has quite confused me…my dad and Ziva BOTH in a robe IN THE SAME ROOM? I close my eyes and open them again, guessing I was dreaming but no…it was very real.

"Are you alright?" She asks me, snapping me out of my reverie. I brush a loose strand of hair out of my face.

"Erm, Yeah, I was, I just wasn't expecting to see you…here…like…that!" I stutter. I don't mean to sound rude but I'm just so overcome by shock.

"You can pick your jaw up off the floor, Bethany, she stayed in the spare room!" my father said, setting me straight.

"Oh, that's nice!" I squeak.

"Yeah, the movie when on later than we expected so I just told her she could crash here…" he said flipping a pancake very professionally.

"Is that alright? I mean, you do not mind, do you?" Ziva said shyly, her accent so beautiful I find it no wonder that my father has fallen for her, I'm so glad he has.

"No, no, of course not" I reply seating myself at my usual spot at the table.

We eat in silence; it's quite uncomfortable and I get the impression that they need to talk…without me around. Thankfully I have a rehearsal for tonight so I make my excuse and get my stuff ready. While I'm in my room, I hear the phone ring. When I come out, I find that that father has gone into a complete blind panic.

"What the hell is going on?" I ask.

"Me and Ziva have to accompany Director Sheppard to a funeral in LA. The flight leaves in four hours…we'll only be gone a couple of days" he says. My heart sinks, I guess he has forgotten. I know that if I remind him he'll plague himself with guilt so I don't bother. I try not to sound disappointed.

"Ok, LA? Sounds like fun…are you going to catch some rays?" I say to Ziva who looks at me blankly. It dawns on me that she doesn't understand the phrase. Her English is so good that I sometimes forget.

"Sunbathing?" I rephrase and she gets it straight away. She shakes her head.

"Probably not. We'll be much too busy" she says. 

"Take a bathing suit, just in case" It silently dawns on me. Jenny's health. Getting on a plane with a brain tumour? I become sick with worry and I mustn't let it show.

"Tell Director Sheppard I said hi!" I say.

"Will do…Ziva we'll stop at your place on the way so you can pack some stuff" my father says opening the front door.

"Thanks…by Bethany" she says brushing past my father on her way out.

"No house parties!" My dad says sternly before he slams the door shut. Suddenly, I feel very lonely. They were gone so quickly it takes a while for me to process what has just happened.

My Dad. Ziva. Away for a few days in LA? I have to call Abby.

*** 

Instead of calling Abby, I just walk to NCIS. It's a few blocks away but I don't mind. I still haven't been able to afford a new car yet and the insurance company hasn't paid out yet.

She meets me with excitement.

"She stayed over?" she repeats what I just said to her moments before.

"Yes, In the spare bedroom" I tell her.

"Did you hear that McGee!" Abby holars, McGee is clearly not interested.

"Hear what?" Gibbs said striding into the lab.

"Nothing!" came all three replies at once.

"Ok" Gibbs said frowning, not really buying it at all.

"Are you going to be ok by yourself for the next few days Bethany?" Gibbs turned to me.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I know where he hides his emergency credit cards don't worry!" This earned me a chuckle from Gibbs. 

"I have no doubt" he says smiling.

My concert comes round quickly and I spend the whole time worrying about Jenny. I try to call Ziva and my father but neither answered their phones.

***


	6. Chapter 6

_***_

_The next time I hear from my father is the following day when he sends me a picture message of a lovely blue sky in LA; a far cry from the dull, grey, overcast skies of Washington DC. Later that day Gibbs announces very angrily that my father and Ziva have lost the director. I am immediately struck with panic. She could be lying unconscious somewhere in LA while Ziva and my Dad are…well never mind, the fact was that she was in danger. I do my best to comfort Gibbs but suddenly he gets on a plane across to LA…now I'm sure there is definitely something very wrong._

_Ducky announces to me, Abby and McGee that the director has been murdered. I go numb with shock. I know and __only _I knew that she was dying any way but the fact that she was _murdered _shook us all deeply.

McGee tried to comfort Abby and I anxiously awaited my fathers return. I knew he would be blaming himself but deep down I felt a bubbling anger towards him for loosing her in the first place. 

When Ducky announces that her body is being flown back to DC I realise that our secret will soon be revealed. I desperately want to warn Ducky before hand but I feel I must tell Gibbs first. 

Gibbs, Ziva and my father arrive back in the squad room many hours later where Ducky, McGee, Abby and myself are waiting for them. Everyone is plunged in grief…Abby won't stop crying…suddenly I feel so guilty and feel like my head will explode if I don't say it now.

They were all huddled together, myself excluded from the group. I stood behind them and spoke out.

"She was dying" I say, tears on the brink of flowing. They all turn looking at me if possibly in more shock than they were before I dropped another bombshell.

"What?" Gibbs said. He almost spat. I don't blame him if he hates me for the rest of his life. "What did you say?" he stutters again when I don't respond the first time.

"She had a brain tumour" I said feeling six pairs of eyes burn me.

"She was diagnosed nearly eight months ago but stopped her treatment" Silence fell for what felt like eternity. My father looked at me with a pain stricken face. Ziva looked hurt that I didn't confide in her. 

"She never said anything to me" Gibbs said in disbelief, "She would have told me something like that" Gibbs said, his voice breaking in grief.

"She didn't want anyone to know…she made me promise not to tell anyone, I'm sorry" I get no response I feel everyone staring at me in anger. Suddenly I feel like her death was all my fault.

"How long had you known, Bethany?" Gibbs said, using my proper name, he never does that unless he's angry. I can't seem to speak because the lump in my throat is chocking me.

"How long have you known!" he shouts at me. I at least expected someone to leap to my defence but how wrong I was. Tears spilled over my eyes, in their grief, they suddenly turned their anger and turmoil on me.

"About a month, maybe two" I stutter, "I met her at the hospital when I had my cast taken off, she told me she wanted to stop the treatment" I said gasping a little as sobs began to take over me.

"Why didn't you tell me! Didn't you think we deserved to know!" Gibbs yelled. I sobbed a little but managed to gain control of it. I wiped the tears that were spilling down my face.

"It's not what she wanted, she asked me to do something, I wasn't going to let her down" I said.

"Don't you trust me? I'm your father Bethany, you could have told me!" he said, his voice was full of disappointment. I couldn't believe what was happening, they were not the only ones who had lost a friend. I felt a sudden swell of anger.

"Well, what I'm trying to say is" I began knowing full well what I was about to say was not going to go down well, "this was a much more merciful way for her to go…she died a hero, you all may hate me for what I've done but Gibbs you've said it yourself, the best way to keep a secret is not to tell anyone at all…what did I do that was so wrong! I know she was your colleague and your friend. Well, she was my friend too and I respected her wishes!" I shouted and let out a small sob before a fled from the squad room. 

I ran down to the autopsy room and keyed in the code. I approached the body bag and went to unzip it but a hand slapped down on my wrist…it was Ducky.

"Please say you haven't come to tell me you hate me too" I say. His grip on my wrist softens.

"I was going to ask, are you alright?" he said kindly.

"No, no I'm not. I did a favour for my friend and now everyone hates me for it. I thought I was doing the right thing, Ducky" I say, regaining the strength in my voice.

"I know" he said simply.

"You do?" I said taken aback slightly.

"Yes, and although everyone up there may have just treated you a little harshly upstairs I think they would have done the same thing, had they been in your position. It must have been very difficult for you" I'd always admired Ducky for his wisdom.

"I did want to tell you all, honestly I did but I made her a promise, I don't break promises" I said. Ducky nodded in agreement.

"Don't worry my dear, they are all in shock up there. They've all made mistakes today and it's natural in the grieving process to find someone to blame but themselves…it's just unfortunate that it was you, Bethany" he said wisely.

"I don't think I can face going back up there, not now, not ever" I said.

"I don't think it will take very long for them to realise that they over-stepped the mark with you. You shouldn't have to apologise for a thing, just let things smooth over for a bit"

"Bethany?" I turn round to see Gibbs standing in the entrance. For some reason, I don't feel ready to forgive him yet, my anger has not yet simmered.

"What!" I snap.

"I wanted to apologise for what I said to you upstairs, it was out of line" he began

"All of you ganged up on me, you all made me think that it was actually all my fault, you convinced me that I was to blame" I said.

"I'm sorry, so is everyone else. They're just emotional"

"I know, she was my friend too" I answered back.

"It's just with Kate as well…" he started.

"She was also my friend. You guys all acted like I didn't care, like I didn't understand what you were going through but the truth is, I do! I've lost my mom, I've lost Kate and Now I've lost Jenny too! Who's next?" I spit at him resentfully.

"Don't you think I felt bad enough without the whole of NCIS throwing it back in face!" I yelled.

"Bethany, I'm sorry…you were right, I loved her…I never stopped loving her. I was angry at you because I knew you were right all along" he said. I suddenly felt my anger start to dissolve.

"That's ok" I said stepping away from Jenny's body and wrapping my arms around his waste. He gratefully accepted this embrace. I untangled myself from him and went back upstairs to face my father. I was engulfed by Abby who smothered me in hugs and apologies before I could even step out of the elevator. Although my anger at Gibbs had resolved, my anger at my father was still raw.

I saw him as I came around the corner. I leant my hands on his desk and bent over it.

"Thanks for leaping to my defence, father" I said.

"I thought we trusted each other" came his response.

"Oh yeah? What if I had told you? What would you have gone and done! There was nothing anyone could have done! If you hadn't lost track of her in the first place you wouldn't have given her killers the chance!! I said slamming my fists on his desk harshly, the pain shooting up my arm soothed me a little.

"Ok, I just thought that if you needed to tell me something you would trust me enough to tell me" he said.

"It's not that I don't trust you, I do…but she made me promise not to tell you. You know I'm an honest person…I did what she asked of me!" I said. I looked over at Ziva who had an overwhelming look of guilt in her eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Bethany, truly I am…I know that is was not your fault" she said sincerely.

"It's ok, you're not my mother" I said, I sounded much harsher than I'd intended.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. It's just…Jenny was my friend too and you all acted like I didn't care about her and I do"

"I know you do" she said getting up from her desk and wrapping me in a hug. The air was still thick between me and my father.

"I'm sorry, dad" I said, knowing that the stubborn ass he was wouldn't apologise until I did.

"You're growing up-you can really stand up for yourself, you definitely get that from me" he said getting up.

"I'm 18, dad…I'm not a kid anymore" I say.

"I know" he said approaching me. "You're my daughter…all grown up, I'm sorry" he said genuinely. He hugged me and I was tense at first but gradually relaxed.

***

A few days later was Jenny's funeral. Ziva had more or less never spent a night from my father and one morning I found that my father had crawled into bed beside Ziva in the spare room.

Gibbs had requested that I sang at the funeral and it was honestly one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I tried to think of a song that she liked. I remembered that she loved the musical Mamma Mia, so I chose; What's the Name of the Game and Our Last Summer.

After the service we all returned to NCIS where the new director of NCIS, Leon Vance was waiting for my father and the rest of the team. They all went up to MTAC and left me to busy myself with Ziva's mighty collection of killer paper clips.

"What the hell is going on in there?" Abby said, I swivelled on Ziva's chair to face her, she was sitting at Gibbs' desk.

"I don't know, they've been gone ages!" I said. Somehow, I couldn't help but think that it had something to do the events of the last few days. 

"So…how's Your dad and Ziva?" Abby asked. I knew she'd been dying to ask me ever since we were left alone.

"She practically lives with us" I say but that isn't enough juicy detail for Abby's line of gossip.

"So what are they like at home?" she asks me

"Just like here I suppose" I said flicking through a movie trivia guide that I found in Ziva's draw.

"Oh, so they haven't you know…" I know exactly what she's getting at.

"I don't know…why would I know anyway?" I ask

"Well, don't you ask?" Abby said. I frown at her.

"Erm, no sorry…I don't make a habit of enquiring about my fathers sex life…besides, what about you and McGee?" I say.

Our crude conversation is disrupted when the team emerges for the belly of MTAC. No one looks remotely pleased, infact they look devastated…I found myself thinking _what else could possibly go wrong_

"Hey guys!" Abby said cheerfully. Gibbs looked absolutely livid. I got up from Ziva's desk. She took one look at me and Abby then at Tony and fled the office in tears without even looking back.

"What the hell happened in there?" I said.

"Yeah guys, what's going on?" Abby reiterated. My father looked pale and scared, unable to answer us…something very bad had just happened.

"Gibbs?" Abby said watching him sit down where she had just been.

"Vance split the team up" he said quietly. I focused on him as he kept his head down, avoiding looking at Abby who had tears streaming down her face. He looked old and tiered and extremely unhappy.

"I don't understand…split you up? What does that mean?" I asked feeling very vulnerable all of a sudden.

"How could this happen?" Abby sobbed into McGee's shoulder.

"McGee's moving to Cyber Crimes…"Gibbs began but my father interrupted him.

"Ziva's being sent back to Israel, Bethany" he said, I could see it in his eyes he was on the verge of tears.

My stomach dropped. Ziva was going away! The whole team was being split up? Forever? The idea didn't bare thinking about. Ziva going back to Mossad? Where she was going to be in constant danger…away from my father.

"But…you're staying right?" I asked him. The tension in the room was so thick my eyesight was beginning to blur with dizziness and panic.

"I've been assigned on Agent Afloat, RSS Ronald Regan" he said.

"Surely that can't happen, you're Bethany's guardian, they can't take her father away from her" Abby argued.

"She's 18, as far as Vance thinks, she can look after herself" he said

"I can but that's not the point, I don't have a job, I won't be able to pay the rent or buy food!"

"Gibbs please do something?" Abby begged. I'd lost the ability to speak.

"For how long?" I croaked. I Dreaded what the answer would be.

"Six months" I heard him say, I was in so much shock I couldn't even cry. My father was being taken away from me and Ziva was going to be thousands of miles away from me.

"When does this start from?" I asked.

"Tomorrow" Gibbs said working furiously at his computer.

"Can't you fix this, Gibbs?" I asked, he ignores me.

"Jethro? Please!" I said, I never use his first name but I'm one of the few who is allowed, since he isn't my boss.

"I'll try to think of a plan but until then there's nothing I can do…Ziva is flying out tomorrow morning" he said, emotionless.

"So soon?" McGee piped out.

"Same for you too, DiNozzo" Gibbs went through a nice phase of calling people by their first names but now he's stopped. 

I remembered a conversation Ziva and I once had about what would happen to her if she ever got sent back to Israel and to the Mossad. She told me she never wanted to return to the Mossad because she'd been in America for too long. She said that she would be emotionally too weak and they would retrain her…if she was too soft…she said they would probably kill her. 

"But she'll die out there Gibbs! They'll kill her! If they find out that it was her that killed Ari!" I said.

"Don't make this any harder than it already is, Bethany please" Gibbs said to me sounding absolutely exhausted.

"Everyone go home, DiNozzo, you've got an early start tomorrow" Gibbs said, My father reached for his rucksack and started to fill it with the contents of his desk. Ziva had just left everything on hers.

"Bethany, come on" my father called me over. I looked over a Gibbs, he looked devastated, apart from us, he had no one.

"I'll meet you at the dock tomorrow morning" Gibbs said. "You're boat leaves after Ziva's flight so we'll all drive her to the airport" he said. I imagined that for him, loosing Ziva was like loosing another daughter.


	7. Chapter 7

_***_

_The next time I hear from my father is the following day when he sends me a picture message of a lovely blue sky in LA; a far cry from the dull, grey, overcast skies of Washington DC. Later that day Gibbs announces very angrily that my father and Ziva have lost the director. I am immediately struck with panic. She could be lying unconscious somewhere in LA while Ziva and my Dad are…well never mind, the fact was that she was in danger. I do my best to comfort Gibbs but suddenly he gets on a plane across to LA…now I'm sure there is definitely something very wrong._

_Ducky announces to me, Abby and McGee that the director has been murdered. I go numb with shock. I know and __only _I knew that she was dying any way but the fact that she was _murdered _shook us all deeply.

McGee tried to comfort Abby and I anxiously awaited my fathers return. I knew he would be blaming himself but deep down I felt a bubbling anger towards him for loosing her in the first place. 

When Ducky announces that her body is being flown back to DC I realise that our secret will soon be revealed. I desperately want to warn Ducky before hand but I feel I must tell Gibbs first. 

Gibbs, Ziva and my father arrive back in the squad room many hours later where Ducky, McGee, Abby and myself are waiting for them. Everyone is plunged in grief…Abby won't stop crying…suddenly I feel so guilty and feel like my head will explode if I don't say it now.

They were all huddled together, myself excluded from the group. I stood behind them and spoke out.

"She was dying" I say, tears on the brink of flowing. They all turn looking at me if possibly in more shock than they were before I dropped another bombshell.

"What?" Gibbs said. He almost spat. I don't blame him if he hates me for the rest of his life. "What did you say?" he stutters again when I don't respond the first time.

"She had a brain tumour" I said feeling six pairs of eyes burn me.

"She was diagnosed nearly eight months ago but stopped her treatment" Silence fell for what felt like eternity. My father looked at me with a pain stricken face. Ziva looked hurt that I didn't confide in her. 

"She never said anything to me" Gibbs said in disbelief, "She would have told me something like that" Gibbs said, his voice breaking in grief.

"She didn't want anyone to know…she made me promise not to tell anyone, I'm sorry" I get no response I feel everyone staring at me in anger. Suddenly I feel like her death was all my fault.

"How long had you known, Bethany?" Gibbs said, using my proper name, he never does that unless he's angry. I can't seem to speak because the lump in my throat is chocking me.

"How long have you known!" he shouts at me. I at least expected someone to leap to my defence but how wrong I was. Tears spilled over my eyes, in their grief, they suddenly turned their anger and turmoil on me.

"About a month, maybe two" I stutter, "I met her at the hospital when I had my cast taken off, she told me she wanted to stop the treatment" I said gasping a little as sobs began to take over me.

"Why didn't you tell me! Didn't you think we deserved to know!" Gibbs yelled. I sobbed a little but managed to gain control of it. I wiped the tears that were spilling down my face.

"It's not what she wanted, she asked me to do something, I wasn't going to let her down" I said.

"Don't you trust me? I'm your father Bethany, you could have told me!" he said, his voice was full of disappointment. I couldn't believe what was happening, they were not the only ones who had lost a friend. I felt a sudden swell of anger.

"Well, what I'm trying to say is" I began knowing full well what I was about to say was not going to go down well, "this was a much more merciful way for her to go…she died a hero, you all may hate me for what I've done but Gibbs you've said it yourself, the best way to keep a secret is not to tell anyone at all…what did I do that was so wrong! I know she was your colleague and your friend. Well, she was my friend too and I respected her wishes!" I shouted and let out a small sob before a fled from the squad room. 

I ran down to the autopsy room and keyed in the code. I approached the body bag and went to unzip it but a hand slapped down on my wrist…it was Ducky.

"Please say you haven't come to tell me you hate me too" I say. His grip on my wrist softens.

"I was going to ask, are you alright?" he said kindly.

"No, no I'm not. I did a favour for my friend and now everyone hates me for it. I thought I was doing the right thing, Ducky" I say, regaining the strength in my voice.

"I know" he said simply.

"You do?" I said taken aback slightly.

"Yes, and although everyone up there may have just treated you a little harshly upstairs I think they would have done the same thing, had they been in your position. It must have been very difficult for you" I'd always admired Ducky for his wisdom.

"I did want to tell you all, honestly I did but I made her a promise, I don't break promises" I said. Ducky nodded in agreement.

"Don't worry my dear, they are all in shock up there. They've all made mistakes today and it's natural in the grieving process to find someone to blame but themselves…it's just unfortunate that it was you, Bethany" he said wisely.

"I don't think I can face going back up there, not now, not ever" I said.

"I don't think it will take very long for them to realise that they over-stepped the mark with you. You shouldn't have to apologise for a thing, just let things smooth over for a bit"

"Bethany?" I turn round to see Gibbs standing in the entrance. For some reason, I don't feel ready to forgive him yet, my anger has not yet simmered.

"What!" I snap.

"I wanted to apologise for what I said to you upstairs, it was out of line" he began

"All of you ganged up on me, you all made me think that it was actually all my fault, you convinced me that I was to blame" I said.

"I'm sorry, so is everyone else. They're just emotional"

"I know, she was my friend too" I answered back.

"It's just with Kate as well…" he started.

"She was also my friend. You guys all acted like I didn't care, like I didn't understand what you were going through but the truth is, I do! I've lost my mom, I've lost Kate and Now I've lost Jenny too! Who's next?" I spit at him resentfully.

"Don't you think I felt bad enough without the whole of NCIS throwing it back in face!" I yelled.

"Bethany, I'm sorry…you were right, I loved her…I never stopped loving her. I was angry at you because I knew you were right all along" he said. I suddenly felt my anger start to dissolve.

"That's ok" I said stepping away from Jenny's body and wrapping my arms around his waste. He gratefully accepted this embrace. I untangled myself from him and went back upstairs to face my father. I was engulfed by Abby who smothered me in hugs and apologies before I could even step out of the elevator. Although my anger at Gibbs had resolved, my anger at my father was still raw.

I saw him as I came around the corner. I leant my hands on his desk and bent over it.

"Thanks for leaping to my defence, father" I said.

"I thought we trusted each other" came his response.

"Oh yeah? What if I had told you? What would you have gone and done! There was nothing anyone could have done! If you hadn't lost track of her in the first place you wouldn't have given her killers the chance!! I said slamming my fists on his desk harshly, the pain shooting up my arm soothed me a little.

"Ok, I just thought that if you needed to tell me something you would trust me enough to tell me" he said.

"It's not that I don't trust you, I do…but she made me promise not to tell you. You know I'm an honest person…I did what she asked of me!" I said. I looked over at Ziva who had an overwhelming look of guilt in her eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Bethany, truly I am…I know that is was not your fault" she said sincerely.

"It's ok, you're not my mother" I said, I sounded much harsher than I'd intended.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. It's just…Jenny was my friend too and you all acted like I didn't care about her and I do"

"I know you do" she said getting up from her desk and wrapping me in a hug. The air was still thick between me and my father.

"I'm sorry, dad" I said, knowing that the stubborn ass he was wouldn't apologise until I did.

"You're growing up-you can really stand up for yourself, you definitely get that from me" he said getting up.

"I'm 18, dad…I'm not a kid anymore" I say.

"I know" he said approaching me. "You're my daughter…all grown up, I'm sorry" he said genuinely. He hugged me and I was tense at first but gradually relaxed.

***

A few days later was Jenny's funeral. Ziva had more or less never spent a night from my father and one morning I found that my father had crawled into bed beside Ziva in the spare room.

Gibbs had requested that I sang at the funeral and it was honestly one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I tried to think of a song that she liked. I remembered that she loved the musical Mamma Mia, so I chose; What's the Name of the Game and Our Last Summer.

After the service we all returned to NCIS where the new director of NCIS, Leon Vance was waiting for my father and the rest of the team. They all went up to MTAC and left me to busy myself with Ziva's mighty collection of killer paper clips.

"What the hell is going on in there?" Abby said, I swivelled on Ziva's chair to face her, she was sitting at Gibbs' desk.

"I don't know, they've been gone ages!" I said. Somehow, I couldn't help but think that it had something to do the events of the last few days. 

"So…how's Your dad and Ziva?" Abby asked. I knew she'd been dying to ask me ever since we were left alone.

"She practically lives with us" I say but that isn't enough juicy detail for Abby's line of gossip.

"So what are they like at home?" she asks me

"Just like here I suppose" I said flicking through a movie trivia guide that I found in Ziva's draw.

"Oh, so they haven't you know…" I know exactly what she's getting at.

"I don't know…why would I know anyway?" I ask

"Well, don't you ask?" Abby said. I frown at her.

"Erm, no sorry…I don't make a habit of enquiring about my fathers sex life…besides, what about you and McGee?" I say.

Our crude conversation is disrupted when the team emerges for the belly of MTAC. No one looks remotely pleased, infact they look devastated…I found myself thinking _what else could possibly go wrong_

"Hey guys!" Abby said cheerfully. Gibbs looked absolutely livid. I got up from Ziva's desk. She took one look at me and Abby then at Tony and fled the office in tears without even looking back.

"What the hell happened in there?" I said.

"Yeah guys, what's going on?" Abby reiterated. My father looked pale and scared, unable to answer us…something very bad had just happened.

"Gibbs?" Abby said watching him sit down where she had just been.

"Vance split the team up" he said quietly. I focused on him as he kept his head down, avoiding looking at Abby who had tears streaming down her face. He looked old and tiered and extremely unhappy.

"I don't understand…split you up? What does that mean?" I asked feeling very vulnerable all of a sudden.

"How could this happen?" Abby sobbed into McGee's shoulder.

"McGee's moving to Cyber Crimes…"Gibbs began but my father interrupted him.

"Ziva's being sent back to Israel, Bethany" he said, I could see it in his eyes he was on the verge of tears.

My stomach dropped. Ziva was going away! The whole team was being split up? Forever? The idea didn't bare thinking about. Ziva going back to Mossad? Where she was going to be in constant danger…away from my father.

"But…you're staying right?" I asked him. The tension in the room was so thick my eyesight was beginning to blur with dizziness and panic.

"I've been assigned on Agent Afloat, RSS Ronald Regan" he said.

"Surely that can't happen, you're Bethany's guardian, they can't take her father away from her" Abby argued.

"She's 18, as far as Vance thinks, she can look after herself" he said

"I can but that's not the point, I don't have a job, I won't be able to pay the rent or buy food!"

"Gibbs please do something?" Abby begged. I'd lost the ability to speak.

"For how long?" I croaked. I Dreaded what the answer would be.

"Six months" I heard him say, I was in so much shock I couldn't even cry. My father was being taken away from me and Ziva was going to be thousands of miles away from me.

"When does this start from?" I asked.

"Tomorrow" Gibbs said working furiously at his computer.

"Can't you fix this, Gibbs?" I asked, he ignores me.

"Jethro? Please!" I said, I never use his first name but I'm one of the few who is allowed, since he isn't my boss.

"I'll try to think of a plan but until then there's nothing I can do…Ziva is flying out tomorrow morning" he said, emotionless.

"So soon?" McGee piped out.

"Same for you too, DiNozzo" Gibbs went through a nice phase of calling people by their first names but now he's stopped. 

I remembered a conversation Ziva and I once had about what would happen to her if she ever got sent back to Israel and to the Mossad. She told me she never wanted to return to the Mossad because she'd been in America for too long. She said that she would be emotionally too weak and they would retrain her…if she was too soft…she said they would probably kill her. 

"But she'll die out there Gibbs! They'll kill her! If they find out that it was her that killed Ari!" I said.

"Don't make this any harder than it already is, Bethany please" Gibbs said to me sounding absolutely exhausted.

"Everyone go home, DiNozzo, you've got an early start tomorrow" Gibbs said, My father reached for his rucksack and started to fill it with the contents of his desk. Ziva had just left everything on hers.

"Bethany, come on" my father called me over. I looked over a Gibbs, he looked devastated, apart from us, he had no one.

"I'll meet you at the dock tomorrow morning" Gibbs said. "You're boat leaves after Ziva's flight so we'll all drive her to the airport" he said. I imagined that for him, loosing Ziva was like loosing another daughter.


	8. Chapter 8

***

"Can we stop by Ziva's place?" I ask on the way home.

"She'll be very busy packing…and I have to pack as well you'll see her tomorrow" he said concentrating on the road.

"Is that is? Dad we might never see her again, I know you love her…please do something about it before it's too late!" I say, I just can't help myself.

He doesn't answer and continues to concentrate on the road.

"You're not arguing back so I must be right" I say playing idly with my fingers.

"We're just friends, working partners…that is all" he replies

"That's a load of bull and you know it" I argued.

"Alright! I love her! I've loved her ever since I clapped my eyes on her! But what do you want me to do? She's going away for god knows how long…she might be killed…and I can't bare to go through at again…are you happy?" he shouts.

"Please, please tell her…we can go now, dad it's not too late…drop me off at Gibbs, I'll go someplace else while you two sort it out. You can't go away and not tell her"

"No, we'll go together" he said, looking at me for support.

"She makes you happy, she makes me happy!" I said in reassurance.

"You don't think I'm a bad person for falling in love again after your mother?" he says. Now I realise what this has all been about…my mom.

"She would want you to move on, I want you to move on…I know she'd love Ziva" I tried to convince him.

"She doesn't love me" he said. I was going absolutely mental by now-why can't they just get on with it!

"How do you know, you've never discussed it with her have you?…you may be a man of many things but a mind reader is not what you are, what have you got to loose? She's leaving tomorrow, you'll probably never see her again!" I say, it is a very painful thing for me to admit out loud. Ziva has been part of our lives for too log for her not to mean anything. I love her like a mother and if there was anything I could do I would move the earth just to stop this from happening.

"We're going home, I'm going to pack and sleep, I have to be up early…" he says changing the subject.

"So that's it?" I said "you're just going to let her go?" I ask him. He doesn't answer and the rest of the journey in silence.

He knows I'm right; I know I'm right! Everyone knows the situation is that they belong together and the only people who can't see is the pair of them.

"Will you be home in time for my graduation?" I ask.

"I don't know, Bethany…right now, I don't know anything, I don't know what's going to happen, ok" he says

I keep my mouth shut for the remainder of the journey.

***

When we get home he goes straight to the closet and pulls out a load of boxes and heads into his room slamming the door behind him. Within a matter a matter of hours my father had transformed back into the man I didn't know.

I pulled out my cell phone and tried to call Ziva but she didn't pick up. I assume she'd be packing to…also avoiding my father.

A couple of hours later, my father popped his head around my bedroom door.

"You hungry? Was gonna order take-out, want some?" he asked matter-of-factly.

"Well, actually I thought…" I began,

"I was gonna call all the guys, get them to come over and I was going to cook a meal…I mean, I need to get used to doing the cooking for myself, don't I?" I said sitting up.

"Bethany, it's a nice idea but we have no groceries or anything…no one will have time." he said, crushing my hopes.

"How do you know? I'll call them all now, I was going to make lasagne!" I said. He shook his head at me.

"I don't think anyone will feel like it, tonight, Bethany, I'm sorry" he said without another word and left my room. My cell phone began to ring shortly after that.

"Hello?" I say.

"Bethany, it's Ziva" she sad sadly. I got very excited all of a sudden.

"Hey! You ok? I tried calling your home phone" I said.

"I'm sorry, I've packed it" she said blankly, even though I couldn't see her face I could hear that she'd been crying.

"Why don't you come over for a bit?" I ask.

"No, I'm really busy, I was just calling to see if you and your father were ok" she said.

"We're fine…dad's a bit upset though," I say, I can't lie.

"Could you tell him I said that I'll see him so time. He won't be able to contact me once I get back to Israel" she said.

"Just wait, I'll go get him…hang on" I said jumping off my bed.

"No!" she says quickly, "Don't make this hard for me, Bethany" she said.

"You're not even going to say goodbye?" I ask

"I can't bare to say goodbye to your father Bethany, it only makes it more real" she says, I can feel my heart breaking…I fear hers is already broken.

"Ok, do you have any idea when you might be back?" I ask.

"My position at NCIS has been terminated…I'm not coming back, I'm not allowed, once I get back they'll most likely kill me" she says bluntly.

"Can't you just talk to your dad about this?" I say.

"No, I can't. What's done is done….there's nothing anyone can do" she said.

"Please come over, we can talk properly" I beg.

"No, I can't…goodbye Bethany, you've been a good friend to me. I'll never forget you…Shalom" she says, I think she's crying now.

"Shalom" I say. My Hebrew is very limited. My father on the other hand has been learning it. If only he'd put it to good use.

Before I knew it, my last connection between myself and Ziva had be cut off.

She was gone…

***

It was about 4:30 when I was woken by my father running around the apartment, doing some last minute packing. His boat wasn't leaving until 0900 but Ziva's flight was at 0730. I got up and got dressed and found him staring out of our apartment window across the city.

"Good morning" I say quietly.

"It's a beautiful day…the sky is so clear, a good day for setting sail." he said not even turning to face me.

"I've got a delivery of groceries coming at 11 for you. I've left some cash at the bottom of my sock drawer. My emergency credit cards are in the safety deposit box…and I mean that it's only for emergencies and for paying the rent…you should try and get yourself a job…you're stunts at the jazz club won't be enough.

To support you" he said.

"are we going to see Ziva off, the rest of the team are?" I ask. He doesn't answer for a few minutes. I can think of nothing to say in between this.

"If I see her now, I'll won't be able to let her go" he says, his pain is killing me.

"I'm gonna go for a drive in your car…you wanna come?" I say.

"To where?" he asks, facing me for the first time in our conversation.

"Just around DC…" I say innocently, I do have a plan up my sleeve.

"Alright, I trust you won't crash it while I'm away" he said smiling a little. I smile back.

"You know when I crashed it wasn't my fault…Abby proved my innocence on that front!" I laugh a little.

He grabs his stuff and I'm surprised how little there is of it. I help him take some of it down to the garage and dump in in the trunk.

I sit down in the driver seat and I'd forgotten how good it felt to drive a mustang. He steadily clicked in belt into the socket.

"No scratching the paint work, ok!" he said. I pushed my foot on the gas as far as it would go and I took off at a screeching speed out of the garage.

"Whoa, Jesus Christ Bethany, slow down" he said gripping the side of the interior to support.

"Did Ziva teach you this" he laughed.

"We've got to hurry, or we'll be late and miss her" I said focusing for the blurry road.

"Who? Ziva?" he said.

"Yes, we're going to the airport, you are going to face up to your feelings! We'll meet the rest of the team too" I say as more of an order. He knows he can't argue with me.

***

He shuts up for the rest of the journey and I speed into the terminal. I pull into the nearest parking spot and my dad is out before I fully come to a stop. He's off before I call him to wait for me. I lock up the mustang and chase after him.

I can see him running ahead of me…he's at least fifty meters ahead of me and I can see him ducky desperately between people.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

"I thought Tony would be here" Abby said.

"It doesn't matter, Abby. He's probably getting ready for his trip" Ziva said, trying to mask her own disappointment.

"Final call for flight 307 to Tel Aviv, Final call for flight 307 to Tel Aviv" called the speaker above their head. Gibbs approached her and pulled Ziva into a hug.

"Take care of yourself now, Ziva…don't go and get yourself into trouble" Gibbs said into her hair. She pulled away and looked at Abby briefly before Abby flung her arms around Ziva's neck.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Ziva!" Abby said, tears falling. Gibbs pulled her off Ziva who turned to McGee.

"Take care, McGee" she said. She pulled him close into a loose hug.

"It's gonna be strange without you around" McGee said.

"I hope we will be reunited again soon!" Ziva said.

"Shalom!" she said turning to board the plane.

***

We were so close to the terminal and I heard the final call for her flight. My dad started yelling her name.

"Ziva!" I heard him shout, "Ziva!" He said, I could see them all huddled together. I saw Ziva turn around when she heard my father calling her name. She smiled, her face sparkling with tears. The closer he got to her the more he accelerated. When he reached her he took her in his arms and spun her around, holding her as close to him as he could possibly manage. The rest of the team were slightly stunned by this but said nothing. I finally caught up with them, slightly out of breath.

"Hey, you made it!" Gibbs said coming over to me. He put his arm around me and we watched my father and Ziva embrace. They had merely seconds to say their goodbyes…it was all very romantic.

" I'm so sorry, I've been such an ass, I don't want you to go!" my father said into her ear, not loosening his grip on her.

"I don't want to go, but I have to follow orders, Tony" She cries into his jacket.

"I love you" he says. I feel a lump rise in my throat. It makes me sad to think that maybe this is all too late.

"I love you too, Tony" she says. They pull apart from their embrace.

"How romantic…"Abby whispers to me. I smile.

"Excuse me miss, but you really have to get on the plane now" the flight attendant says to Ziva. They step apart.

"I'll wait for you, I'll wait however long it takes." My father tells her. She nods, wipes her tears. He raises his hand to her cheek and rubs the tears from her eyes.

"Goodbye, Tony" she said, turning to get on the plane. My father looks absolutely broken. She hands her flight ticket over to the ticket collector and walks slowly down the passage. She stops for a moment. She turns around and starts running back towards Tony. She jumps into his arms and kisses him passionately on the lips. He returns the kiss. It is short and sweet and she breaks off from and completes her journey to plane, this time, not turning back.

He stands there looking down the passage where she had just disappeared down.

"Dad, it's time for us to go…your boat leaves in a hour" I approach him. He pulls me into a tight hug.

"It's ok, dad…everything will be ok" I said, rubbing his strong back.

"DiNozzo…" Gibbs says approaching us.

"It's time" he says.

***

We drive to the dock and the rest of the team follows behind us. We get there in plenty of time. My father was right…it is a lovely day, the clearest skies I've seen in a long time.

He wonders off to register and already with him not at my side I feel very alone even though Gibbs, Abby and McGee are standing right next to me. Although it's a clear day, it's quite breezy down by the coast and the wind whips my long hair around my face.

"How are you holding up?" he asks me. I'm not really sure so I can't answer him honestly.

"I don't think it's really sunk in yet…it's going to be the longest six months of my whole life" I say, the summer does seem an awfully long way away.

My father returns having left all his things on the ship…this is it.

"They want me to board the ship now…and report for duty" he tells Gibbs, for some reason, he can't quite look at me.

"Go on then, the sooner you go, the sooner you can come back" Gibbs tells him. He pauses before he continues, "Tony, six months is a long time…I'll do my very best to get this team back to the way things were…I promise" Gibbs says sounding sincere. My father shakes his hand. He turns to McGee next.

"So long, Tim" he says. He never uses McGee's first name; it's always Probie or McGee or any other nick-name he can think of. At times I think his name calling of McGee is quite mean and I am proud of him that in this situation he uses none of those.

Next in line is Abby.

"Bye Abs, see ya'round" he says, it's all too emotional for lots of words to be said. Last but not least, he turns to me. He pulls me into a strong hug.

"You stay out of trouble! I know what you're like!" He jokes. I laugh.

"Yes, dad…I'll be fine, I'll miss you though" I say trying to smile.

"Of course you will, I'm a misable guy!" he flashes his smile to us all.

"Seriously though, if you need anything, Gibbs will help you out…I love you, see you soon" he says putting his hand against my cheek. I turn my face towards the warmth of his rough hand.

"I know, I'll be fine" I say bravely.

"If you're good, I'll send you a post card!" he says backing up from us all in preparation to board the ship.

"You told her to stay out of trouble so now I'm telling you the same thing…behave!" Gibbs jokes, he's also trying to make light of the situation.

And then he's gone. My dad has disappeared…it's all over for now.


	9. Chapter 9

_I go back to NCIS with Gibbs after the ship sets sail…I can't bare to be alone right now and neither can he. _

"_Is there anything I can do to make myself useful around here?" I say noting the piles of files dotted around. Gibbs takes a look around the squad room. It already looks very different without the team there._

"_No, my new team doesn't start until tomorrow" he says._

"_So…what's your plan to get everyone back?" I ask._

"_They've not even been gone a day! Give me a chance…I have several ideas up my sleeve" he whispers in my ear. I smile trusting him with my life. He's all I've got now, next to him and Dan…I'm all alone. Not forgetting Abby and McGee though; they're still close by. _

_I think of Ziva, wondering if she has arrived at Tel Aviv yet. I look at the clock._

"_She won't have arrived yet" Gibbs says. I don't think I'll ever be able to work out how he does that._

"_Oh" I say, just to avoid silence falling across the squad room._

"_What do you want to do?" he asks me. I genuinely have no idea._

" _I don't know, really…I should really go home and do some practise" I say, it is true but no matter how much I need to do it, I just don't feel like it._

"_Ok" he says._

"_Will you be at home if I need you?" I ask him._

"_Yeah, probably, I can't stand the sight of this place at the moment…might do some work on the boat if you want to give me a hand…I'll get some pizza and we can…talk, you're getting pretty good at sanding down that thing!" he says. He must have been a great father to Kelly when she was alive. I know I'm very lucky to have a man like Gibbs to protect me when my father isn't around._

_***_

_I do a couple of hours practise until I cannot stand the lonely apartment anymore and I head over the Gibbs' place. When I get there the pizza is already there and waiting in the basement. _

"_Hey!" I say descending down into the basement where he is already._

"_I thought you were going to stand me up" He smiles "Pizzas' getting cold" he says opening the box and pulling out a slice._

_***_

_It's been nearly four months since Vance split my father's team up and things haven't been what I was expecting. I wasn't expecting them to be just as they were but it's like Ziva and my father have disappeared off the face of the planet._

_No one has heard from Ziva like she said, but an occasional transmission through MTAC would have settled my mind. I've spoken to my dad a few times but not much…he doesn't really have much time. It's alright though, as long as he's safe._

_Gibbs has been taking great care of me…I think he quite enjoys having someone to take care of other than himself for a change._

_It's two weeks until my graduation and although Gibbs has promised me that he will be there for me, my father cannot make such a promise and as for Ziva…she could be god knows where._

_***_

_I'm sitting at home watching the news on TV, it's a rare occurrence that I have time to this but here I am. The reporter informs the nation about a suicide explosion at a bar/restaurant in Morocco. I swear for a second I see Ziva amongst the crowd of wounded. I try to shrug it off. There are millions of women in the world with long dark hair like Ziva's…it may not be her. I can't stop thinking about it though. The sooner Gibbs works out a plan the better. I need Ziva and my father here; where I can keep an eye on them._

_There's a knock at the door, it's Dan. I open the door to him and he hands me a bag of Chinese._

"_Aw gee, Thanks…you really know how to treat a girl" I laugh, letting him in._

"_You know me!" he says laughing._

"_I feel like I haven't seen you for ages" I say. He leans over and kisses me on the cheek._

"_That's because you haven't, you've been practising too hard the last couple of days" he says unpacking the food._

"_I've got to" I argue, I know he understands but like everyone else he's been worried about me ever since my dad left on his assignment. _

"_Anyway, I managed to get some tickets for Avenue Q on Broadway next weekend if you're up for it?" he asks flashing two tickets in front of my eyes._

"_Oh My God! Thank you!" I say taking them from him._

"_I'll take that as a yes then?" he smiles._

"_I love this musical…it's hysterical, musical genius!" I say._

"_I know, that's why I got them" he said._

_There's another knock at the door. I look through the peep hole to check who it is before I open the door, it's Gibbs…baring __more _food!

"Quick Dan, it's Gibbs…hide the take-out…I don't want him to feel bad" I say. Dan scans the kitchen for a tea towel and throws it over the containers. 

"Ah, the famous Gibbs I've heard so much about!" he says with a smile. I turn back to the door and open it wide.

"Gibbs!" I say.

"Hey, you hungry?" he says holding up the take-out. I smile trying to suppress my laughter at the situation.

"Yeah, come on in…Dan's over if that's ok?" I ask. This is the first time Gibbs has met Dan, if he's going to be anything like my father was, poor Dan is in for the long haul.

"I'm not disturbing you am I?" he says. I shake my head.

"Of course not" I say ushering him in and closing the door behind him. Gibbs places the bag on the coffee table and eyes Dan suspiciously and protectively. Dan knows the drill.

"I've heard a lot about you, Special Agent Gibbs" he says nervously extending his hand.

"Really?" Gibbs says turning to look at me accusingly.

"Yeah, I'm Daniel Cunningham, sir" he says. Gibbs laughs at his politeness.

"No sir! Just Gibbs will do" he says ignoring Dan's extended hand and giving him a manly pat on the shoulder. Result!

"I'll just get some plates" I say to them.

"Bethany tells me you were in the Marines" I hear him say…shoot, should have told him not to bring that up. I wait for Gibbs to turn all cold but he doesn't.

"Yes, a long time ago, mind you!" he says.

"My father is in the Marines, serving in Sudan" Dan says, I look at Gibbs who seems thoroughly impressed.

"Are you going to follow his footsteps?" Gibbs asks unpacking the food. Dan shakes his head.

"I'm afraid not, sir…" he says, Gibbs corrects him.

"It's Gibbs, please" he says with a smile.

"Gibbs, I'm going to study medicine after my graduation" he tells Gibbs.

"I've seen you in the orchestra, you play…French horn, don't you?" Gibbs says. Dan nods. I return over to them with plates and cutlery.

"Here we are…dad's going to kill you Gibbs when he finds out how much fast food you've been feeding me!" I say setting the plates down with a clatter.

"He's not going to find out is he?" Gibbs hints. "oh, whilst we're on the topic of you're father. I think I might have found a way to cut his assignment short" Gibbs explains.

"Oh?" I say excitedly.

"I was going through some cold case files and found one that was linked to the ship he's on at the moment. I was going to call the commander in the morning" he finishes.

"That's great!" I say but then something occurs to me. "What about Ziva?" I ask

"I actually convinced the director of Mossad to speak to me today which is a first" he begins, I can't help but get my hopes up.

"Yes?" I say.

"He said she's on an undercover mission, wouldn't say what or where. He said as soon as she has completed her task he may consider letting us have her back because apparently she has been almost impossible to live with recently" Gibbs says spooning a pile of noodles onto my plate.

"He can't stop her if this is where she really wants to be" I say.

"Well, that's true. But considering we sent her back there in the first place he is a little confused as to why we have supposedly changed our minds"

"Why did Vance split you up?" Dan pipes up, hoping to be more included in the conversation. I should have reminded him not to bring that up either.

"Jenny…" I say. He suddenly goes a bright shade of red.

"Oh, sorry Gibbs" he says. Gibbs shrugs.

"What's done is done…the sooner I get my team back the better" he says.

"I told you he'd get my dad's team back together again…" I tell Dan proudly.

"Hey, it's not your dad's team-it's my team!" Gibbs says…we all laugh.

***

The evening goes well. We watch some x-files DVDs; I gave every single episode on DVD. I watched one episode once and told my dad I liked it…so guess what I got the following Christmas?

Dan has to head back after a little to baby-sit his kid sister while his mom goes to work, she's a nurse and with his dad away it gets awfully hard for them both. I understand. We understand each other…both our dads are away because of their careers…so we look after each other. Soon it's just me and Gibbs.

"I like him, he's a good kid" he says whilst helping me wash up.

"Good, you took a lot less convincing then dad did" I say, smiling…I wish he was here.

"I can imagine…you're his daughter, it must be hard for him to accept that he's not the only man in your life now" he says. I shake my head.

"That's never been true…you and McGee and Ducky…you're all really close to me" I say.

"Yeah, but not in _that _way!" he says, immaturely emphasising the _that._

"I know what you mean…he's cool about it now though, he's had to be cool about it…I mean, he'd be hypocritical if he didn't, I was, is, cool about him and Ziva…" I say. Gibbs pauses.

"What?" I say sensing his unease.

"I don't know what to do about them" he says. I'm confused…I don't know what he means.

"What are you talking about?" I ask. He sighs.

"Well, the human in me is thinking it's the best thing that could happen to them both, I'm really pleased they finally worked it out…" he stops.

"But?" I say, in conversation with Gibbs, there is ALWAYS a but.

"I made rule 12 for a reason" he says sounding like a broken record.

"We've had this conversation before…they know about rule 12, it won't interfere with NCIS, they wouldn't compromise the team…they know how much it means to you…hell, why did you think it took them this long?" I say. He agrees with me, I know he does…but he is their boss after all and he has to stand ground.

"I could just pretend that I never saw what happened in the airport" he says.

"what happened in the airport?" I say smiling, going along with his plan…he doesn't get it at first but does eventually and laughs.

"You'd make a good agent, you know…you're really smart, you'd do well" he starts, not him too.

"This is also a conversation we've had before…my dad wants me to go into science and forensics like Abby like on CSI or something like that…but it's just NOT what I want to do…Music is too big a part of my life…it's also a lot safer" I try to make my point as clear as possible. "I'm going to the conservatoire and no one, not even you is going to change my mind" I finish.

"Ok…" he says and we speak no more of it.

"But I expect to get decent seats to all your big concerts!" he chirps. I elbow him in the ribs.

His cell phone rings and he wonders off back into the lounge.

"Yes" I hear him say. I'm oblivious to his conversation until I heard a name"

"Director David? What right now? I'll be there in 10" he hangs up immediately and speeds back into the kitchen, I act like I haven't heard.

"Come on, we're going to NCIS" He says grabbing me by the arm, causing me to abandon the washing up.

"Why, what's wrong?" I ask. The tone in his voice concerns me.

"That was Vance, Director David is on a transmission in MTAC…he needs to speak with me urgently" he says giving me my coat as we leave.

"Is it something to do with Ziva?" I ask dumbly.

"Of course it is, why else would he call at this our…in Israel it's probably about 6 in the morning…he wouldn't tell Vance" he says not looking at me. Deep down in my gut something tells me something bad has happened.

Our journey is silent. As soon as we get to NCIS we jump from the car leaving it unlawfully parked on the sidewalk. I don't think I've ever got to NCIS this quickly before, not even with Ziva's driving.

***

Vance is waiting for us. He puts out an arm to stop me from going into MTAC.

"You can't go in there, authorised personnel only" Vance grabs me by the arm. Gibbs pushes him off.

"She's been here a lot longer than you have, Vance. She has MY permission!" he spits at Vance, who backs off. He goes to follow us into MTAC but Gibbs bars him.

"I believe Director David wanted to speak to ME!" Gibbs snapped. Vance frowned and stormed off in a sulk. Gibbs shut the door behind us, we turned to see the large screen depicting Ziva's father to us.

"I heard you wanted to speak to me" Gibbs said, cutting to the chase.

"Who is that with you" the Director asked, meaning me.

"She's a friend of Ziva's" Gibbs says.

"Where is she? Are you sending her back?" I ask frantically before I can stop myself.

"My daughter is dead, Gibbs" he said showing no emotion whatsoever.

"What!" Gibbs said, all emotion draining from his face. No, not Ziva. My head was spinning, after everything…I can't loose her too.

"I'm very sorry Special Agent Gibbs" he says. I can't believe what is happening.

"What the hell happened?" Gibbs says angrily.

"She was killed whilst working undercover" he says. 

"Undercover where?" Gibbs orders. I'm so close to crying. Ziva cannot be dead…what am I going to tell my father.

"I cannot tell you that" he says calmly.

"Her body?" Gibbs stammers

"Not recovered…she was killed in an explosion, she would never have made it out alive I can tell you" the Director said.

"You're lying!" I shout. The director looks at me in disgust.

"Bethany" Gibbs tried to hush me.

"No, no Ziva wouldn't die like that! She would have escaped! She's alive…she must have just escaped and ran away!" I say, I have already lost too many women close to me…I just cannot loose her, not now.

"I'm sorry, young lady…but we would have found her if that be the case, besides, she knows better than to run away from Mossad" he says. Gibbs shakes his head.

"Would she though?" Gibbs said. "If she was so desperate to get away from it?" he asks. The Director doesn't respond.

"She didn't die under cover" Gibbs accused. The director looks uncomfortable.

"You found out about what happened to Ari…didn't you? Did she tell you?" Gibbs shouts at the screen before him.

"I am very forgiving, Special Agent Gibbs…I would not kill my own daughter. I have already lost one daughter and now Ziva too…but know of all people would know about loosing a child, what it is like to loose someone so young, so innocent." The director says, before abruptly terminating the transmission.

"No! No!" I say, crumbling in tears. Gibbs close to tears too.

"I'm so sorry…Bethany, Bethany listen to me" he says trying to hold me but I pull away from him.

"He's lying, Ziva is still alive, I can feel it! Are you just gonna sit back and believe whatever he says?" I say. 

"We should call your father, get him back here, now on emergency leave" he tells me getting up in order to make the call. As soon as his back is turned and run as fast as I can out of MTAC. Gibbs shouts after me but I fly down the stairs out of the squad room, out of NCIS. Gibbs yelling after me to come back. I run and run until I can't hear him any more.

I run all the way to Ziva's apartment. I scramble for her spare key she gave me for emergencies and stifle through all her things…anything that might help me find her. In my act of rage I ransack her home looking and searching for any sign to show me the way. 

I pause for a breath and my eye catches on a photograph beside a lamp on a coffee table. I'd never noticed it before all the times I'd been over there but now it had become very significant.

It was a photograph of Ziva with an older man and woman and also another girl, a little younger than Ziva. Ziva looked about the age I am now. I carefully removed from picture from it's golden frame and turned it over.

_Home with Aba and Ima, Tel Aviv, 1992._

I was surprised that it was written in English but glad all the same. Was it their home? Was it still their home? I wasn't sure of anything but it worth a try. I ran all the way home back to my apartment and into my fathers room. I emptied his sock draw and pulled out several "emergency" credit cards. 

"This does call for an emergency" I say to myself before grabbing the phone by the side of the bed.

"Er, hello? I need 1 ticket to Tel Aviv, Israel? No, I need it tonight…first class? Is that all you have? Fine, I'll take it! $750 dollars? Is that return? What? Er yes, sorry, I'll take it, can I pay there? Great, Thanks" I say slamming the door. I run out of the house with nothing but my passport and my dad's credit cards…he's going to kill me when he gets back. 

Right now, I'm not thinking straight. Within a couple of hours I'm sitting on a plane in first class to Israel…it suddenly dawns on me what I have just done.

"Oh" Is all I can say. Gibbs is going to kill before my dad even gets back!

***


	10. Chapter 10

_***_

"_Abby?" Gibbs yells rushing into her lab._

"_Hey, what's up?" she says._

"_Bethany's gone…" he stammers, out of breath._

"_where?" she asks._

"_I don't know…we just got a call from the Israeli Director…" Gibbs starts but Abby interrupts him._

"_Ziva's coming home?" she assumes. Gibbs shakes his head._

"_Apparently she was killed yesterday during a Mossad undercover operation" Gibbs tells her. _

"_No! Not her too!" Abby sobs. _

"_Bethany went absolutely mental and ran off, she's not at her place or Ziva's place or my place… I've got people searching the building high and low for her…she's gone! DiNozzo is going to kill me!" Gibbs says._

"_What do you want me to do?" Abby asks, calming her tears and turning into professional mode._

"_McGee is trying to get everything he can on Mossad and their operations, to see if we can work out what Ziva was working on. You do the same." he said. Kissing her lightly on the side of the head as she gets to work._

_***_

_In all the panic and hurry, Gibbs and McGee work into and through the night. Having Ziva assumed dead and Bethany missing was enough to make him forget to call Tony and explain to him what happened._

_12 hours later they were still no closer to finding anything out about Ziva. Gibbs had put out a BOLO for Bethany but no one had responded as of yet._

_***_

_When the plane came into land, I was suddenly feeling very sick. What the hell was I going to do? Tel Aviv was a big place just to find one person who was supposedly dead, probably in hiding. I knew some Hebrew and Arabic that Ziva taught me but it was mostly useless stuff like swearwords and insults…that wasn't going to help me. I listened out at the airport for anyone who spoke English._

_I ran up to what I assumed was a tourist desk tried to make them understand._

"_Do you speak English?" I say, the man looked at me strangely as if I were, well, speaking a foreign language. I wondered away from the desk feeling that I was the biggest idiot in the universe. This is by far the most stupidest thing I have ever done. Here I am, lost in Israel with no money, unable to communicate with anyone…hell I didn't even bring my cell phone… Oh, I need Gibbs._

_***_

"_She's not picking up her cell phone, boss" McGee tells a thoroughly stressed out Gibbs._

"_I know McGee, that's because she didn't take it with her!" he said. He was going to kill her when he found her…that's if she was alive when they found her. Gibbs gulped. He had decided it may not be a good idea to tell Tony of the situation, just yet._

_The elevator pinged but it was ignored by both McGee and Gibbs._

"_Surprise!" Gibbs heard an all too familiar voice. _

_Oh shit. _Gibbs thought.

Tony appeared in the squad room-a sight for sore eyes to say the least. His bright face dimmed a little as he drew an envelope from his jacket pocket.

"Would someone like to tell me where my daughter is so I can ask her why there was $750 spent on a plane ticket?" he asks. The dubious faces of McGee and Gibbs were not a comforting sight to him.

"Erm, do you know where the ticket was to?" McGee asked. Tony frowned.

"Where is Bethany? McGee?" Tony said, in a much more serious tone of voice.

"Nice to have you back DiNozzo, what the hell are you doing here?" Gibbs asked, stunned.

"Petty Officer was killed on the ship, we docked here for investigation and I thought I'd surprise you, now tell me where my daughter is" he says, irritated.

"Surprise!" McGee says shakily.

"Erm, Tony- I need to talk to you in private" Gibbs said pulling him back towards the elevator.

"McGee track Tony's credit card" Gibbs said.

"What the hell? You lost her? You don't know where she is do you?" Tony says paling. As soon as they enter the elevator, Gibbs shuts it down.

"What the hell is going on here?" Tony said.

"Ziva's dead…DiNozzo" Gibbs said bluntly. Tony's face fell.

"No! It can't be true!" He said slumping down to the ground. Gibbs knelt beside him.

"That's what your daughter said…we only heard yesterday, she ran off after we got the news" Gibbs said. Tony was eerily silent.

"How?" he asked in a whisper. The look in his eyes told Gibbs that Tony's soul that had taken so long to rebuilt was once again a heap of dust.

"The director told us it happened from an explosion in Tel Aviv. She was working an undercover operation. They won't tell us what the operation was" Gibbs said, placing a hand on Tony's shoulders.

"I want to see her body, I won't believe it until I see it, Gibbs…oh, god, she can't be gone too, oh god!" he said, breaking down into hysterical sobs. 

***

I had been wandering around the city for several hours now trying to find the house in the picture I'd found. Tiered and hungry, I sat down in the city centre by a fountain. 

Maybe I should just face it. Once again, someone I love has been taken away from me. Maybe I should have just accepted it and grieved like normal people would. I wonder what Gibbs is doing, probably going out of his mind with worry and as for my father! Stuck on some boat, god knows where-I bet Gibbs hasn't plucked up the courage to tell him that I legged it to Israel.

I kick at the dust beneath my feet.

"I'm so stupid!" I repeat over and over, taking my anger out on the ground beneath my feet.

"Are you ok, Honey?" I hear someone say. I've never been so pleased to hear my native tongue! I look up to see an elderly woman looking down at me. She spoke with a thick Israeli accent but his soft smile and sparkling eyes reassured me.

"You're never going to believe what I've just done" I tell her. She sits herself beside me.

"Maybe I can help…my name is Judith" she tells me holding out her tanned hand.

"Bethany" I say, shaking her hand back.

"American?" she says. A statement more than a question. I nod wiping a loose tear that has fallen from my eyes.

"My friend, works for Mossad. I found out yesterday that she had been killed in action…with out thinking I just jumped on a plane and came here to see for my self. I don't believe she is dead. She manages to escape things like that" I say, hoping Judith will understand.

"Those Mossad people never cease to amaze me" she tells me.

"What is your friends name? My husband works for the Israeli Embassy here in the city…I think I might just be able to help you" she says.

"Ziva David…her father is the Director for Mossad. I think they still live at this house" I say drawing the picture from my pocket. She takes and studies it.

"I'm afraid I don't recognise them myself but I'm sure my husband can help. Come with me. I'll get you something to eat on the way" she says, leading me through the crowds.

"Oh…I haven't got any money!" I tell her. She looks at me piteously.

"Don't worry about that! A pretty little thing like you must eat…I imagine you spent all your money getting here, did you not?" she says with a twinkle in her eye. I don't reply, but my stomach does.

***

After several minutes, Tony resolves from his stupor and rises off the ground. He sets the elevator moving again. Gibbs gets up after him.

"Are you ok?" Gibb asks him. Tony sighs, deeply troubled.

"No, but I have to find Bethany, I can't do this without her" He said wiping tears away from his wide eyes.

"I should have told her sooner…married her, lived my life with her for longer…there is so much I regret not having said and done. She did so much for me Gibbs and I never even so much as thanked her for it" he said staring ahead of him.

"Ziva knew you appreciated it. She was so in love with you, it didn't matter to her if you noticed-it made her feel better" Gibbs said.

"What about rule 12?" Tony asked. Gibbs was starting to get sick of rule 12.

"Rules are meant to be broken" he said with a smile. Tony didn't smile. It was all a little too late.

***

When Judith and I arrived at the embassy building just a little north of the city centre, Judith sat me down in the entrance and promised to come back for me. She went over to the reception desk and started twittering in Hebrew to the woman behind the counter. Several minutes later, she returned.

"He'll be right out…he's just finishing a meeting" she said warmly.

"Thank you so much… I don't know how I can ever repay you!" I say. 

Suddenly, a largely built man emerged from a nearby conference room. Judith got up and went to him. He seemed friendly enough. He came over to me and I started to get scared.

"My wife tells me you are looking for Officer David?" he asks. He puts out a huge hand for me to shake. My petite hand is a bare match to his.

"My name is Jacob, and you're in luck…I do know who you speak of, she's quite the well known trouble maker-in the nicest way. Come with me" he says. I get up and follow him.

"You'll be alright, I'll wait just here" Judith says ushering me after her husband.

He leads me into the room he just came out of.

"Officer David was in an undercover operation which all went…how do you Americans say…bottoms up?" he says. This man isn't actually half as scary as he looks.

"Is she alive?" I ask. Jacob's face falls.

"I'm afraid there is no possibility that she could be alive, unless a miracle occurred.

A miracle? I think I can put my faith in her.

"Look I know this is a lot to ask and I'm sorry to be taking up your time but might it be possible for me to speak with Director David?" I ask. Jacob sighs.

"Director David is a very busy man, and a grieving one at the moment too, might I add" he says.

"I just want to talk to him" I beg. Jacob pauses for awhile before reaching for the phone.

"I'll see if he can come down" he tells me. My eyes light up.

"He's here?" I say trying to stay calm.

"A few floors up, yes…where else did you think he'd be?" he asks. 

"Erm, I don't know…thank you, thank you so much" I say, he smiles at me. He speaks in muffled Hebrew down the phone for several minutes before he hangs up. I wait anxiously.

"He said he'll be down in the minute but he doesn't have much time" he tells me.

"Thank you, thank you so much!" I say, I can't say much more than that.

"You're welcome, Shalom" he says going to leave.

"Shalom" I say, beaming. He leaves me alone in the large room and I wait patiently for Director David. The ticking of the large clock was the only sound in the room until I hear the heavy oak door creek open.

I turn around and see him in the flesh for the first time.

"Ah, you!" he says irritated.

"I'm sorry for my behaviour earlier…I was upset" I begin but he raises his finger to silence me. It works with immediate effect.

"I have a funeral to plan for my daughter please make it quick" he says.

"How do you know she is definitely dead? She might have escaped" I tell him. He puts his head in his hand.

"I wish I had as much faith in my daughter as you do, my child" he said. "Ever since she came back she's been sloppy, slow…nowhere nearly as sharp as she used to be. Your country has softened one of my toughest agents" he says.

"She has a lot of friends in America that would like to attend her funeral" I begin, thinking of my father.

"Like who? Special Agent Gibbs?" he says. I nod.

"Oh, not that DiNozzo boy…I knew you looked familiar…you're his daughter!" he says.

"Yes, and he very much loves your daughter" I tell him.

"I'm sorry, young DiNozzo but there is nothing I can do to help you with your much needed closer. Please leave, sorry you have wasted a journey" he said showing me to the door. 

When I leave, Judith is still there waiting for me.

"What did he say?" she asks me.

"That I had wasted my time" I said feeling utterly embarrassed and ashamed.

"I'm truly sorry for your loss" she says putting her arm around me.

"What are you going to do?" she asks me.

"We're not invited to her funeral" I tell her, "I guess I have to go home and face the music" I tell her. However she does not seem familiar with this idiom.

"It means, I have to face up to what I've done back home" I explain, 

"Oh" she says. "Would you like me to call you a taxi to the airport?" she asks kindly. I shake my head.

"No, you've done so much for me already, thank you!" I say.

"You're very welcome" she says. She waves goodbye as I head out of the door into the heat.

In my distance I see the beautiful, green, flowing hills. I decide to take a walk up there to clear my head before heading back to America. 

It takes me a good couple of hours to walk up there but it gives me a lot of time to think. To think about my future, my father, Ziva, the whole NCIS team. The people who I have lost, my mother, Kate, Jenny…and I force myself to admit it…Ziva too. I wonder what my life would be like if they were still here, well for starters Ziva would most definitely not be in my life and that is something that has become unfamiliar to me…not having Ziva in my life.

I think about my father and Gibbs…and what they're going to do to me when I get back. I try to stop thinking about that. When I reach the top I realise how therapeutic the whole experience has been…I'd like to think that this experience has at least made me a better person.

The view is breathtakingly beautiful and it overwhelms me. A country that has so much conflict, disagreement, fighting and war can still have such beautiful surroundings.

I can feel someone approach me, I daren't turn around-in case this is where I am finally to meet my end.

She says something in Hebrew which I cannot understand. I guess it's probably along the lines of…get off my land, or I'm about to set my ravenous pack of dogs on you if you don't leave. Amidst my panic I fail to notice how beautiful the voice is…and how somewhat familiar it is…no, it cannot be…I think this is probably a dream. I turn around quickly and there she is. What on earth were the odds of that!

"Ziva?" I say in disbelief…I knew all along! She looks at me in pure shock.

"Bethany?" she says. Her face is a sorrowful sight, she has cuts and bruises all over her face and arms, she has a large gash on her forehead and her clothes are torn.

"Is it really you?" I stammer, not wanting to get my hopes up in case it is a dream.

"Is it really you?" she mimics. I approach her slowly.

"I…we thought you were dad…your father…" I say

"I guessed as much…my father doesn't know me as well as he thinks he does" she says with a slight smile.

"I knew it, I knew you weren't dead!" I say.

"What on earth are you doing here in Tel Aviv?" she asks me.

"I came to find you…I refused to believe you were dead so I came to see for myself…and you're not, you're bleeding!" I say. She raises her hand to her head.

"It's dry blood" she says dismissing it.

"What are you doing up here?" I say.

"I used to come here when I was a little girl, with my sister. I haven't been here since she died" she says looking out at the view.

"Are you on the run?" I ask.

"To be honest, I do not know" she says, her voice wavering.

"I'm sure you're father will want to know you are alive" I suggest.

"I came up here trying to figure out if I was brave enough to resign from Mossad. Coming back here made me realise how much I actually hated it in Mossad. I love my country, Israel is so beautiful but I can't stay any anymore, it isn't my home" she says.

"So, come home…with me. It might lighten my punishment if I bring you back with me!" I say.

"I was sitting up here waiting for a miracle…" she says looking at me. The warm wind whipping around her long dark hair.

"And here you are!" she says. 

"We should go and see your father…if he really loves you, he'll let you go" I say trying to convince myself .

"Do you think Gibbs would let me back? My liaison position was terminated- there won't be a need for me" she said.

"Why don't you retrain as a field agent? I'm sure Gibbs can work it out?" I ask. She looks at me smiling.

"Come on, lets go…lets go home!" I say-sounding so cliché. I get up and wipe the sand from my jeans. She followed suit and we began the long walk down the hill. 

***


	11. Chapter 11

***

Gibbs was pacing the squad room, Tony was sitting in Ziva's chair and McGee was typing furiously at his computer.

"You're plane ticket was for Tel Aviv" McGee tells them.

"She's gone to Tel Aviv?" Tony gasped in astonishment.

"She was very upset" Gibbs offered.

"You let her run away and get on a plane to Israel…ALONE??" he shouted. Gibbs stood back and let Tony release his grief. The elevator dinged but could not be heard over the tension filling the squad room.

***

We were about to round the corner into the quadrangle but I stopped her.

"Wait here" I whisper. Ziva doesn't argue. I take a deep breath and go to face up to what I did.

When I enter, my father has his back to be and Gibbs is right in my eye line. His eyes go wide.

"Dad? What are you doing here?" I say.

He turns around and I can't read the expression on his face.

"Bethany?" he says. He runs towards me and picks me up in a huge embrace. He squeezes me tight.

"Dad…can't breath" I say. He puts me down.

"Bethany where the hell have you been!" Gibbs yells taking me by the shoulder. All I can do is beam at him.

"What? Why are you smiling?" he says confused.

"I'm just really glad to see you, I'm sorry I ran off" I say hugging him. He returns my hug.

"I'm just glad you're ok" he says.

"What are you doing back here?" I say turning to my father.

"A case…but that doesn't matter, Gibbs told me…" he said tears brimming in his eyes. My smile gets bigger.

"Oh…that" I say, I'm smiling so much my face is starting to get sore.

Gibbs and my father look at each other oddly.

"I've got a surprise for you!" I say,

"Oh really? I already found out about the plane tickets" my father frowns.

"No…" I say pulling Ziva out from her hide out behind the bill board. I sort of fling her in the direction of Gibbs and my father. Silence fell upon the squad room.

"Ziva?" he whispered. Tears trickled down Ziva's face as she approached him.

"Your father!" Gibbs started.

"Was wrong" she said simply.

"Guess my trip wasn't so wasted after all" I say to Gibbs. My father strides up to Ziva and takes her in his arms and pulls her into a passionate kiss. They pulled apart and Ziva looked around her.

"Welcome home" Gibbs said, giving her a hug. McGee rose from his desk and approach them.

"I resigned from Mossad…I can never go back" Ziva stutters. No one knows what to say in response.

"I was wondering if I can train as a field agent?" she asked, Gibbs looked at her proudly.

"Welcome aboard Special Agent David" he said smiling.

"Thank you Gibbs…maybe I should speak to Vance too" she suggests.

"All in good time" he says. She turns back to my father.

"I missed you" she said. He took her face and held it close to his.

"I thought you were dead!" he half sobbed. Their forehead were touching.

"Marry me…" he said. Gibbs looked at me, I looked back at him. McGee's jaw dropped.

"…before anything else happens to you…" he finished. Ziva broke apart from him and stared at him in shock. She stared at him…the look on my father's face proved to me that he hadn't intended to say that but he didn't regret it at all.

"Ziva?" he asked. I felt the fear of rejection radiating of my father.

"Yes…" she whispered. So quiet I was almost certain she didn't say anything.

"Yes, I will" she said through tears. The frown instantly melted away from my father's face. Ziva suddenly ran up to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"I love you so much!" he cried into her hair.

"I love you too!" she said clutching at his shirt.

"Finally!" Gibbs said. I smiled and went over to him. He put his arm around me as we watched them embrace.

"You're not angry at them?" I say to him as if they were not even present.

"No. You know me" he says. I frown at him.

"I do" I start "The normal Gibbs would have head-slapped them from here to Timbuktu by now" I say. Gibbs sighs.

"I can't step in the way of other people's happiness" he says. I pause noting the sadness in his voice.

"But you gave up your own happiness" I say. Gibbs shook his head.

"She did…Jenny did, I was willing to risk anything, we were just like them once upon a time" he said quietly.

"I'm sorry, Gibbs" I say putting my arm on his shoulder.

"It's ok" he says. He suddenly snaps out of his reverie.

"Oi, you two! Back to work! David! I'll fill out your training forms. Shouldn't really need to do the training, I've seen you in action!" he said, going up to MTAC.

***

"Ziva, could you help me get ready?" I ask, dumping a pile of shopping bags on her desk. She looks at me gratefully but with a hint of disappointment in her eyes.

"I'd love to…but Gibbs would kill me" she says. Right on cue, Gibbs whirls around the corner.

"Go, I'll see you this afternoon" he says. Not even facing them. He heads over to his draw and pulls out a small bag. It is neatly packaged. He hands it to me.

"What's this?" I ask. He smiles warmly at me.

"Graduation present" he says. I open the package slowly.

"If you don't like it, I still have the receipt, you can change it" he says, I gasp when I open it. It is a beautiful silver bracelet with Aqua jewel drops twisted into the clean silver.

"Aw, Gibbs! It's beautiful! Thank you! I love it!" I say giving him a tight hug of appreciation.

"I'll see you later!" he says grabbing a mug of coffee and heading up to MTAC.

"Don't be late" I scold.

"Of course I won't" he says smiling. I try to put the bracelet on but struggled by myself. Ziva sees this and comes to my aid.

"Here, let me" she says taking the delicate silver piece from me. She gently clasps it around my wrist.

"My graduation present it at home" she says. I love hearing her refer to her home as mine and my father's home. She sold her apartment a few weeks after my father proposed. She pulled back fiddling with her engagement ring on her finger. I went with my father to choose it. He was like a kid in a candy shop…he wanted the best for her. She deserves it though.

"You getting used to that yet?" I ask, motioning to her ring finger.

"Yeah, I still can't quite believe it" she says beaming, I've never seen her so happy. However, she still hasn't told her father yet. She has tried to contact him on several occasions but he hasn't spoken to her since we went to him in Tel Aviv and she told him she was resigning from Mossad.

The elevator dings and Abby flies out, closely followed by my father.

"Look who I found!" he says as Abby rushes up to me. She engulfs me into a hug.

"Hey! Happy graduation! I wish I could come!" she says pulling away from me and handing me a gift wrapped in pink paper with yellow skull and cross bones on. I open it and it is a pearl photo frame.

"Abby! It's gorgeous! Absolutely perfect!" I say hugging her back.

"Thank you so much! It feels like my birthday…even Vance gave me a card!" I say laughing.

"It's not everyday a girl graduates!" My father says wrapping his arms around me.

"My daughter, eh? All grown up!" he says. I pull away from his grasp before he can embarrass me further.

"I've booked a table at Giovanni's at 8 for a celebratory dinner!" he says.

"Everyone has to be there!" he finishes.

"Ducky told me he'll be there so don't worry about him" Abby begins.

"I'll be there!" McGee chirps.

"aw, guys! You're the best!" I say beaming.

"Come one, we better go" Ziva says rising from her desk.

"I'll see _you, _later!" My father says wrapping his arms around Ziva and pulling her into a hug, kissing the side of her neck. Gibbs frowns

"DiNozzo!" he scolds. He unwinds himself from her.

"Sorry, Boss" he says.

"You will be" he replies. When my father sees Gibbs has his back turned, he kisses her passionately on the lips.

"Drive carefully" he says. Ziva chuckles at this.

"Don't I always?" she smiles. I collect my bags and thread my arm through hers.

"Come on, we have a graduation to get ready for" Ziva says pulling me towards the elevator.

***

"What do you think?" I say twirling around in my dress. It is a ruby red colour and falls just above my knees. It has thin straps and it flows out as I turn. I slip my feet into low heeled, red sandals. My long, brown, curled hair falls over my shoulders as I bend over to do up the buckled straps.

"You look amazing!" she says. I admire her for her handy work with hair straightners and eye shadow.

"Thanks" I say.

"Do you want your present now, or later?" she says smiling. She pats the bed to the side on her. I sit down beside her. She pulls out a locket and puts it in my hand. It is a silver, heart shaped locket…it's beautiful.

"Ziva…it's beautiful, could you?" I ask, pulling my hair over my shoulder so she can fasten around my neck.

"I'm glad you like it…it was my mothers" she says.

"Ziva, I can't take this if it was your mothers…" I say trying to remove it but she stops me.

"No, no…I want you to have it. Please…" she says. I lean over and hug her.

"Thank you, so much!" I say onto her shoulder.

"There is no one else I'd rather give it to" she says. Her cell phone beeps and we separate, I get up and inspect myself in my long mirror.

"That was you're father, he says he's going to meet us at your school" she says, reading her phone.

"What's he doing?" I ask.

"Don't ask me" she says knowingly. He's up to something but I decide I want to be pleasantly surprised.

"Are you alright?" I ask, noticing how pale Ziva looks. I've been so wrapped up in my own world today.

"Yes, I'm fine" she answers.

"Are you sure?" I say, "If you're not well, maybe you should stay here and rest, catch up on some sleep?" I suggest. She shrugs.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world" she replies.

"As long as you're sure" I say.

"Bethany?" she says nervously.

"Yeah?" I say adjusting the bracelet on my wrist from Gibbs and the necklace hanging from my neck from Ziva.

"I think I might be pregnant" she says barely as a whisper. I smile erupts on my face with excitement.

"You think?" I say.

"I'm late…I'm never late" she tells me.

"Oh…" I say.

"Please don't say anything to your father…I don't want to tell him until I'm sure, promise you won't tell him" she begs me.

"Of course I won't…we have time to get a test from the store" I suggest.

"No, no, this is your day…I don't want to spoil it for you" she says.

"I don't mind…you're happy right?" I ask noticing her unease.

"I don't know…what if you're father doesn't want another child…I don't know if I'm ready to be a mother" she says on verge of tears. I put my arm around her.

"Of course he will…he loves you, you'll make a great mom!" I say.

"Do you think so?" she says.

"I know so, you're a fine mom to me" I say, not really realising what I'm saying.

"Then I'm very happy…but we're not sure yet, so don't get your hopes up" she says.

"Well lets go" I say grabbing her hand.

We drive to the store in silence. I wait in the car while she rushes in. Within about 5 minutes we are driving back again.

"I'll do it later" she tells me, "We'll be late otherwise" she says.

"Ok, as long as your ok waiting that long" I say, she nods.

"Are you nervous?" she asks me. To be honest, I haven't really thought about it.

"I'm more nervous about that" I say pointing to the package she has in her hands.

"I shouldn't have said anything…I've ruined your day!" she says looking away.

"No, you haven't…I feel honoured that you confided in me first" I say patting her on the hand.

We drive to my school in silence.


	12. Chapter 12

_***_

_There is five minutes until the ceremony and know I'm actually very nervous. Worst case scenarios play in my head-that's a steep set of stairs I have to climb up. My father isn't here yet._

"_Where is he?" I say frustrated, pacing in circles. Ziva places a comforting hand on my shoulder to stop me. My father zooms around the corner. He runs up to us and plants a kiss on my cheek._

"_Where have you been?" I say angrily. He just smiles at me stupidly._

"_Had to find a parking space…" he says, "You go sit down, Zi…you ok?" he asks her, casually draping an arm over her small frame._

"_Yeah, of course. Good luck Bethany" she says. _

"_Gibbs saved you two seats" I say pointing over in his direction. Gibbs sees us and waves._

_They go and sit with Gibbs and I'm left alone. I go and take my place._

_I fiddle with the awkward hat on my head and play with the tassels idly with my fingers. The black drape I'm wearing is heavy and uncomfortable. I recall a conversation with my father when I first bought my dress. He couldn't understand why I had spent his money on an expensive dress that will be covered by an ugly black robe._

_Before I know it, my name is called and I approach the stand, I look out across the podium and see all the faces staring at me…specially the three faces of Ziva, Gibbs and my father. They look so proud and I don't want to let them down._

_It's over in a second and I'm back in my place. I've graduated from high school…I'm a grown adult with the big scary world ahead of me…it's as scary as hell. _

_***_

_After all the photos and chit chatter we head round to the cars._

"_Shut your eyes" my father says excitedly._

"_Why? What's going on?" I say. He covers my eyes and steers me in a direction which I cannot work out. All I can feel is the gravel beneath my sandals._

"_Surprise!" he says releasing my eyes. They adjust to the bright light of the sun and they blur into focus-I should have known. Before me is a brand new Mercedes hatch back. I turn around to face him…he loves his cars,_

"_Happy graduation!" he says. I just laugh and laugh, I pull him into a hug._

"_Thank you!" I say._

"_You're very welcome" he says._

"_Hey Ziva? Wanna come with me for a spin?" I ask. She looks hesitant and quite unwell. But she nods anyway, forcing a smile._

"_Sure" she says. I run round to the driver seat. And slip my sandals off._

"_Converse are in the back seat!" he calls. I turn around and the bag is on the back seat just as he said. I slip them on and turn on the ignition. I speed out of parking lot._

"_Your father will kill me after he sees you driving like this" she says._

"_Why you?" I say._

"_I taught you those tricks" she says as I wheel spin around a corner._

"_Bethany, could you pull over, I'd hate to spoil your new car" she says, a slight sweat has beaded on her forehead. I screech to a sudden holt. She opens the door and promptly threw up outside the car door._

"_Oh my god!" I say unbuckling my seat belt and leaning over. I rub her back._

"_I'm ok!" she says._

"_No you're not!" I retort. "I'll phone dad, we'll postpone dinner, you can't go and I won't go without you" I say sternly reaching for my cell._

"_No!" She shouts. "Don't I'll be fine. You know what this probably means, right?" she says._

"_You are happy about that right?" I say._

"_I don't know" she says. I look down and see her hand instinctively over her flat stomach. She notices me looking and hastily removes it._

"_Lets go, the others will be wondering where we are" she says. I sigh returning to the seat and switch on the ignition. I drive slowly back to the restaurant. _

"_Are you sure you're going to be ok?" I ask once more._

"_I'm more worried about my father finding out" she blurts out._

"_Why?" I ask_

"_I don't know…I'm afraid I won't be able to protect my child from him" she says_

"_But you're not with Mossad anymore…" I say, trying to work out what she is getting at._

"_I know, but he's still my father…never mind, I'm just…" she says trailing off_

"_Just relax…ok?" I tell her. I pull up onto the side walk. My father, Gibbs, McGee, Ducky and Abby are all waiting._

"_Ah hah! Here she is!" Ducky says in his smooth English accent. He gives me a dainty hug and hands me a gift._

"_Thank you" I say, pulling away from him._

"_Congratulations, Bethany" McGee says handing me a bag…gee this is better than Christmas._

"_See you survived your spin!" Abby says._

"_Not even a scratch!" I say high fiving her. Ziva gets out the passenger side and slams the door._

"_Hey!" my father says grabbing Ziva's wrist softly and pulling her into a tight embrace._

"_Hey?" she says effortlessly._

"_Let's go!" I say leading the crowd into my favourite Italian restaurant. _

_***_

_We are seated and begin several courses of wonderful food. My eye is on Ziva all the time, she orders a salad and picks at it. She leaves most of it and by dessert she is paler than a ghost. I open my gifts from Ducky and McGee. _

"_Ducky! It's lovely!" I say, it's a celebratory champagne flute with my name, high school and date on it in pink glitter._

"_I love it!" I say._

"_You're welcome my dear!" he says, chuffed that I like his gift. I turn to McGee's package. It feels like a small book-typical McGee! I open it and it is indeed a book by Thom E Gemsity._

"_No other copies of that around!" he tells me_

"_You wrote a book for me?" I say, touched. He nods._

"_Thank you! Thank you so much guys, for all you're gifts, it's really touching! You guys are the best!" I say. Ziva goes to get up from the table but staggers and collapses._

"_Oh My God, Ziva?" My father says rushing to her aid-she is unconscious. Everyone rising from the table. Ducky pushes through while Abby phones for an ambulance._

"_Ziva, baby…wake up honey!" My father says desperately, running his hand through her hair and down her pale face._

"_Ziva?" I say. I want to say something but I hold back._

_An ambulance arrives quickly by now, Ziva has come to. _

"_Ziva are you alright?" my father says cradling her head to his chest. She tries to sit up but dizziness overwhelms her and she falls against his chest._

"_Sleep…" she whispers. Before passing out._

_***_

_***_

_We all drive to the hospital and we are sitting in the waiting room. My father is pacing back and forth. I feel bad for not saying anything but I remain quite, I wait for the doctor. I shiver and Ducky, ever the gentleman, puts his jacket over my bare shoulders._

_The doctor comes out._

"_Family of Miss David?" he says, I cringe at the mispronunciation of her name._

"_It's dav-eed!" My father says harshly with worry._

"_Dad!" I hiss, it's not the doctor's fault and he knows it._

"_Please tell me what's going on…I'm her fiancé" my father asks desperately._

"_Well, she's dehydrated so we've set her up with some IV fluids. We sent off some blood tests, they should be back in a few hours. She was complaining of nausea so we've given her something to ease it" he says. _

"_When can I see her?" he says._

"_Now, if you like, she's sleeping though…we'll keep her in over night until we get the blood results back, ok" the doctor says, my father nods gratefully but passes straight by him into Ziva's room. I approach the doctor to thank him on my father's behalf._

"_Thank you…Erm…" I say hushing the volume of my voice, "I think she might be pregnant" I tell him. He nods knowingly._

"_That's something we've tested for, no need to worry miss…" he says walking away._

_I peer through the window and see my father engulfing her into a hug, she's been crying. She looks up and her eyes catch mine. We're both thinking the same thing, we know what's wrong…well nothing wrong but what the matter is._

_***_

_Some hours later, the others have called it an evening and I promise to call them in the morning, my father has fallen asleep beside Ziva. The doctor comes back. I get up._

"_Yes?" I say, _

"_she's fine…blood tests were normal apart from…" he says. "Are you a relation to Miss David?" he asks in confirmation._

"_She's gonna be my new mom…is she pregnant?" I ask. The doctor nods._

"_Would you like me to talk to her?" the doctor asks._

"_No, I'll tell her" I say, "Thank you, doctor" I say._

"_Your welcome…we'll do a scan in the morning" he says patting me on the shoulder. I quietly step into the side room. My father stirs._

"_Hey" I whisper. He untangles himself from his fiancée and gets up off the bed to stretch his legs._

"_The doctor just came by…" I begin._

"_And?" he says._

"_She's fine!" I say. I'm not lying, there is nothing actually wrong with her, but I feel totally weird telling him her news. She stirs and sees me in the room. She sits up and our eyes connect. She senses I need to talk to her alone._

"_Tony, could you get me a glass of water please?" she asks. He looks at her._

"_Sure" he says planting a kiss on her forehead. Once he is gone she becomes more alerted,_

"_I am, aren't I?" she says instinctively._

"_Yes…" I say, she stays silent, tears fall from her eyes._

"_Hey! Don't cry!" I say, pulling her into a hug._

"_I don't think I can do this, Bethany!" she says._

"_Of course you can, think of how many people you have around you to help you…Abby will be thrilled!" I say._

"_What about your father?" she says._

"_I know him…if you're scared of him having commitment issues he wouldn't have asked you to marry him if he were" I say. _

"_What?" he says, I turn around startled, I don't know how long he's been there._

"_Erm…" I say. I can't think of anything else to say. It's not up to me, it's all down to her._

"_I'm pregnant, Tony" she says. Silence falls. I stare at my father to see his reaction, it doesn't look promising. He steps out the room without a word. She bursts into tears. Right now I'm faced with going after him or tending to a tiered, emotional Ziva. Right now, I choose Ziva…my dad can be such an ass._

_I pull her into a hug. We stay like that for a few minutes. She falls back into the pillows asleep. I step outside the room, I'm boiling with anger. He's only sitting outside._

"_What the hell?" I say sitting beside him._

"_It was a shock" he says._

"_She's as scared as hell in there! You've done the whole father thing before! She hasn't done the mother thing…she's frightened, she thinks you don't love her any more…" I say. He shakes his head._

"_I love her, you know that" he says._

"_Then why did you just walk out?" I ask._

"_The last time I did this whole thing, was with your mother" he says. I can't really say anything to that._

_He gets up and leaves me alone outside the side room. _

_***_

_He returns several minutes later with an envelope. _

"_What's that?" I ask. _

"_It's a get well soon card" he says. I follow him inside the room. She wakes up when she hears us enter._

"_Tony, I'm sorry…I understand if you want to call the wedding off…" she says, he pulls her into a passionate kiss._

"_Why would I want to do that?" he says, "I'm sorry I was such an ass" he says, his forehead touching hers._

"_I love you" she says._

"_I love you too, we both do" he says placing a hand over her stomach. He hands her a card. I can't help feeling a little left out. Soon I'll be going to New York and I'll hardly ever see them. I know it sounds horrible but I can't help but feel I'm being replaced. _

_He gives her a card._

"_What's this?" she says turning it over._

"_Open it" he says. She does so and it's a card with the picture of two cartoon cats on the front. She opens it and laughs. I lean over to see what it reads…_

_To the best mommy in the world._

_Love Baby._

I smile as I watch them hug. Not wanting to ruin the moment I leave the room, I can feel tears welling up in my eyes.

I drive to see Gibbs, hoping he'll understand.

"Hey" he says, noticing the tears in my eyes.

"What's up? Is Ziva ok?" he says.

"Yeah, she's fine" I say weakly.

"But you're not" he says knowingly. Letting me inside.

We go down into the basement with his favourite remedy…hot cocoa.

"So, are you going to tell me what's up?" he asks.

"Ziva's pregnant" I say

"That's good, right?" he says.

"Is it wrong for me to feel jealous?" I say soundly really bad.

"Why?" he asks. I know I will feel better after I tell him what's on my mind.

"Dad's moved on, he's marrying Ziva…they're having a child together…they're a family" I say.

"You are part of that family too" Gibbs says.

"No, me and my father and my mom were a family. My mom died, my dad has moved on…I'll be leaving for New York soon, I'll hardly be around" I say.

"You think he'll forget about you?" he asks. It sounds so stupid coming from his lips.

"It's stupid…I know" I begin.

"No, It's normal to feel like that" 

"I know my mom died a long time ago, and I got over it a long time ago but…" I say, trying hard not to cry but I fail miserably.

"You're not over your mom…Bethany, no one is asking you to forget about your mom, and your father won't forget about you" Gibbs tells me, I really want to believe him but something weighs down my heart.

"I wish I could believe you…I know it sounds horrible and selfish but…" I say.

"You're only human, Bethany…it's ok to feel like this" he says.

"But it feels so wrong…Ziva is so nice, I love her to bits but…Gibbs, why do I feel like this?" I say, I don't know where this has all come from. Buried deep inside my, it's finally decided to rear it's ugly face.

"Because when your mom died, it was just you and your dad…then it was Ziva and now you have to share them both between a new baby, that will take up a lot of their time and attention. At least you'll be in New York, you'll have plenty of distractions" he tells me wisely. I begin to feel better.

"Thanks Gibbs"

***

I leave Gibbs' house and head back over to the hospital. I know full well that my father won't have left Ziva's side. When I get back they are right where I left them fast asleep. I decide to go home and get some rest, knowing they will still be there in the morning.

***

I wake up at 7 the next morning and head down to the hospital again. When I get there I am horrified to find that they are gone. A nurse reassures me that they have only gone up to obstetrics for a scan. She gives me directions and I stop off at the hospital cafeteria to get some breakfast.

When I get there they are just about to go in.

"Hey!" Ziva calls sitting in a wheel chair directed by my father

"Good morning, how are you feeling?" I ask.

"Better, thanks" she tells me, "We did a lot of talking last night…" she says. My father puts his hand on her shoulder and she puts her hand over his.

"You ok?" he asks me.

"Yeah I'm fine" I say smiling.

"I assumed you went home" He says ruffling my hair.

"Yeah, I figured you both could need some clean clothes and stuff" I say, handing him a bag.

"We're just going to have a scan" Ziva said, sounding almost exited.

"Ok, I'll just be out here" I say, not wanting to intrude.

"No, come with us, it'll be ok" My father says taking me by the shoulders. 

We all cram into the tiny examination room and my father helps Ziva up onto the bed. However, she resists his help.

"I'm not a complete invalid yet, Tony!" She says, making me laugh.

"Right" the nurse says, "I'm just going to put some jelly on your stomach…I'll warn you now, it'll be cold!" she says with a smile. My father takes Ziva's hand in his own and kisses it.

"Well, everything looks great…there's two arms, and there's…" the nurse stutters squinting at the screen "…another two arms…" she says.

"My baby has four arms?" Ziva says in alarm. The nurse laughs.

"No, you're babies both have two perfectly healthy arms" she says, smiling.

"Babies? As in…two?" my father says.

"Yes, congratulations, you're having twins!" she says, "I'll print a picture of for you, I'd say judging by the size of them you're about 8 weeks!" she says reaching for a paper towel to hand to Ziva in order for her to wipe the jelly off.

"Two?" My father says again.

"Can you believe it!" Ziva says, eyes wide with excitement.

The next thing we know, my father is on the floor.

***

"Gibbs, I need you're help, Dad fainted!" I say outside the hospital. Ziva was in the ER with my dad and an ice pack.

"What?" he said laughing hysterically.

"Yes, it's not one baby, but two!" I say.

"Wow!" he says "Congratulations big sister!" he says, I smile. 

"Thanks, Uncle Gibbs" I reply

"I'm sure you don't need my help, just drive carefully with Ziva and Mr Poofter, will you, come by NCIS, They can announce it to everyone, I've been dying to tell everyone but it's not my place…" he says, I can hear the excitement in his own voice.

"Sure, we should be outta here soon, hopefully" I add. We say our goodbyes and hand up. I switch my cell phone off and head back into the hospital. I find Ziva at the reception signing my father's release papers.

"He ready to go?" I ask, she nods.

"Yes, his ego is feeling very battered indeed" she says.

"It was a shock" I say.

"I've come round to the idea" she says with a smile. I give her a hug.

"What are you going to do about the wedding? Are you going to wait until after the births?" I ask.

"I don't know…we'll have to talk about it, I don't really want to be the size of an orca on my wedding day" she says, I laugh at her English.

"It's the size of a whale!" I say. She frowns at me.

"An orca _is _a whale" she says.

"I know, but the term is…oh never mind" I say knowing it's probably not a good idea to argue with a doubly hormonal woman.

"Oh, I spoke to Gibbs, He wants you to come by NCIS to tell the news, He's been bursting to tell everyone…he also needs to discuss issues concerning the field" I say sensitively. She sighs.

"I wondered how long it would be before he asked about that" she says

"You know he's only looking out for you…and the babies" I say.

"I know…I'm just not used to doing desk duty…it's going to be so boring!" she says.

"Well, lets just see what he has to say first, lets go and find dad" I say leading her off to the cubicles to find my weak excuse for a father.

***


	13. Chapter 13

***

"Ziva? Tony? Are you ok?" Abby says engulfing Ziva in a bone crushing hug. Gibbs and my father pry her off in an attempt to protect Ziva's unborn children.

"What? I'm only giving her a hug!" Abby frowns. McGee comes around the corner.

"Hey, Ziva!" he says.

"Give her 9 months there's no way will you be able to hug her unless you have go-go gadget arms!" My father says, earning a slap on the head from Gibbs and a whack in the stomach from Ziva.

"Wait…you? No!" Abby says working it out.

"Baby?" She says "You're pregnant!" She squeaks at a pitch beyond recognition.

"Congratulations guys" McGee says, shaking my fathers hand.

Abby whitters on about being able to be aunt Abby and doing all this cool stuff. My jealous streak returns.

"Twins, double the trouble!" My father says proudly. I can feel tears pricking my eyes. Amongst all the commotion, Gibbs pulls me to one side.

"You ok?" he asks me.

"Yeah, I'm just being stupid-that's all" I say trying to sound as convincing as possible; it just doesn't work on Gibbs.

"Do you want me to talk to your father?" he asks me.

"No, no…it's nothing, I'll be fine…I just think I'm the one who needs to get used to it more than them!" I say. Wiping my eyes, I push past him and head to the rest room.

"Bethany?" I hear my father call after me but I can't let him see me like this.

"She's just going to the bathroom" I hear Gibbs defend me.

***

Three months later and it's two weeks until I start my first semester and the New York School of Music. I've received many letters saying how eager they are for me to start my four years with them but I'm very, very nervous. I haven't really spoken to Ziva or my father about it. They have enough on their plates as it is; Ziva is already getting quite huge. My father has already started decorating the spare bedroom, he's painted it a neutral colour so it will be perfect whatever combination the twins will be. It's really sweet actually, the walls are cream with cream and brown lions, giraffes, elephants and other animal wall stickers over the walls.

Gibbs has beautifully hand crafted two cribs and two hanging mobiles to match. He truly is a talented craftsman.

I start packing some of my things into boxes so it is not all left to the last minute.

"What are you doing?" My father asks me as I pack my books into a box and tape it up.

"Packing, I'll be leaving soon…had you forgotten?" I ask.

"I'm sorry, I've had a lot on my mind what with the wedding and the twins…" he begins.

"It's ok, I understand…you're happy, that's all that matters" I say returning to my packing.

"But you're not happy?" he asks. Fathers always have the knack of sensing when something is wrong.

"I'm fine…just a little nervous that's all" I say.

"You'll be fine, you'll do me and Ziva proud" he says. I turn and look at him.

"What about mom? Would I make mom proud?" I say.

"Of course you will, and she'll always be with you when you're in New York, when I can't be with you" he says. I don't respond. I can't think of what to say without crying.

"This must be very hard for you" he says. No kidding! That's the understatement of the century.

"I'm just going to find it hard to settle with me being in New York and you and Ziva being here in DC…I'm just…" I finish before the tears come.

"Admit it, you're going to miss your good ol' daddio!" he jokes, I don't think he understands how much I'm hurting.

"Once I get settled I'll be fine!" I say avoiding his eye contact.

"You are ok about me and Ziva right?" he says.

"Of course I am" I say. I'm fine with them-I'm just angry at myself.

"You'd tell me if there was something wrong, right?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine, seriously" I say starting to get annoyed.

"Ok, I'm just going to run to the store-Ziva needs some grapes" he says. It makes me laugh how he chases up her every need.

"Grapes?" I ask smiling.

"I know, Gibbs tells me it will only get worse" he says.

"You want anything?" he asks me.

"Nah, I'm good" I say I watch him leave. I return to my packing suddenly feeling a lot better now I've had that conversation with him.

***

Today is the day. I've left some of my things unpacked for when I come home but it still looks very bare- I've packed all my photos and posters and artwork. The corner where I prop my violin looks very strange without it.

"Are you almost ready?" Ziva calls to me from the doorway.

"It's a long drive to New York" she tells me.

"I know, I'm coming…how are you feeling?" I ask, heaving a back pack over my shoulders and picking up my violin from my bed.

"it's going to be weird without you around" she says.

"It's going to be strange not being here" I say.

"Are you looking forward to it?" she asks me. I think about it for a moment.

"Yes. Yes I am!" I say

"I'm glad…you know if you ever want to talk to anyone, I'll always be around for a nat" she says.

"You either meant chat or natter!" I say. She laughs to.

"At least you know what I trying to say" she laughs.

We head downstairs out into the warm Washington DC air. My father is loading cases and boxes into the car.

"There you are" he calls. I head over and dump my bag on the front seat.

"You need a hand" Ziva calls to my father.

"Absolutely not!" he says "not in your condition" he finishes. If looks could kill, Ziva would have just wiped him out.

"_condition?" _she repeats. My father gulps.

"Be careful how you say that, dad" I laugh. Ziva rests a hand on her quite visible bump now.

"Ah, Him and Gibbs are just as bad as each other…why do you keep acting as if I'm going to snap at any given moment!" she says.

"We just don't want anything to happen to you or your kids" Gibbs says surprising everyone. I turn around to see him smiling.

"What are you doing here?" I say.

"Came to wave you off!" he says.

"See you in a few months, Gibbs" I say giving him a hug.

"You stay safe in NY, it's a dangerous city" he tells me, I roll my eyes.

"I'll be fine, don't worry…I've learnt a few tricks from all of you!" I laugh going to get into the passenger side of the car. My father goes over to Ziva, he gives her a strong hug and a loving kiss on the lips/

"You going to be ok?" he asks her, putting his hand on her slightly risen stomach.

"Yeah, Abby will be here soon, any minute…she wanted to be here to say goodbye to Bethany" I hear her say. The roaring of a car engine comes out from nowhere and Abby breaks sharply. She jumps out screeching.

"Oh Beeetttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyy!" she squeals as I get out the car again, she pulls me into the biggest hug, suffocating me slightly.

"Abby, respiratory system shutting down!" I say gasping for breath.

"Oh" she says letting go of me. We look at each other for a few moment before breaking into child-like song clapping our hands in various chorographical ways:

_Weeee'rrrre…Abby, Bethy two best friends…_

_Abby: I'm tall_

_Me: I'm tiny_

_We're gonna rock this place! Woo!_

We finish in laughter.

"What the hell was that?" Gibbs asks in astonishment. I fall into hysterics.

"Nothing" I say, giggling.

"That…was nothing?" My father says gawking at us. Ziva laughs. She comes over to me and pulls me into a hug.

"You take care now, ok?" she says

"You too" I say. Patting her back.

"If you need anything, anything at all, just call me, ok?" she saves gripping me by the shoulders.

"Yeah, of course" I say. "I'll see you all at Thanksgiving" I say. It sounds like such a long way off.

"Bye" the all chorus waving as I get back into the passenger seat and my father turns the ignition on.

This is it.

***

It's a long drive to New York and there is a thick silence in the air between my father and I. I feel like it the right time to have a really honest conversation with him but he seems too focused on the road.

"Are you ok?" I ask

"Yeah, I'm good…considering" he says. I wonder what an earth he means.

"What do you mean" I clarify

"Considering my baby daughter is leaving home to go to Collage" he says.

"I'm not that far away…look at it this way, I could have gone to California" I say, I was considering it but maybe for my study away. My father shakes his head.

"No, New York is far enough" he says.

"You're going to have to let me go sooner or later…besides you've got plenty to distract you" I say.

"I know, but it won't be the same without you" he says. I sigh missing home already.

"Ziva loves you, the twins will love you, you'll hardly notice I'm gone. Once I start doing professional work you'll hardly ever see me" I say.

"You're my first child…I am going to notice. I've watched you grow up your whole life and you've turned into this beautiful vibrant young lady and I'm so proud to call you my daughter" he says.

"Aww, flattery won't get you anywhere" I joke.

"Bethany, I'm serious…You know I love Ziva with all my heart, I would do anything for her but it's the same for you too" he says

"Yes, I do know…but do you realise I'll kill you if you screw it up, Ziva is the best…don't ruin what you've got" I tell him, trying to sound like Gibbs.

"There's no way I'd intentionally mess this up…this is the happiest I've been in a very, very long time" he says.

"So you never really loved Jeanne??" I ask. He pauses.

"I thought I did, but it was an under cover mission" he tells me.

"Yes, I know…I watched the footage when we all thought you were dead, Ziva watched it over and over again…it broke her heart when she thought you were dead" I say very seriously, I remember the day all too clearly-when Gibbs phoned me with _that _call. The call that no family member of someone in the armed forced or public service wants to get. But it's all over now, it's time to focus on the future.

***

We arrive a couple of hours later and the Manhattan School of Music entrance is packed with new students. I wonder which ones I'll become friends with. Suddenly I feel very sick with nerves.

"You ok?" he asks me. I nod looking around at my unfamiliar surrounding.

"Let's go and find out where you're room is so you can meet your room mate" he says taking me by the arm and leading me through the crowds of people and instruments.

The woman on the desk looks severely hassled and hastily hands me my key and waffles some direction of how to get to the halls of residence. When we reach my room, the door has already been propped open by another person. I peer in nervously.

"I'll go and start bringing up your stuff" my father says planting a kiss on the top of my head.

"Ok" I say walking into my new 'home'. It is quite small and has two beds either side of the wall. The room is sort of split into two with a desk and dresser opposite each bed…it will take a lot of homey touches because it doesn't look lived it at all and it's very strange.

"Hey! I guess you're probably my room mate" waves a girl who pokes her head around the en-suite bathroom door.

"I guess" I say shyly.

"My name's Jessica" she says. I envy her confidence.

"Bethany" I say nervously.

"You look absolutely terrified!" she says sympathetically. I try not to cry too soon.

"Well I am, actually" I admit. She smiles, calming down too.

"Sorry if I seem a bit mental, I do that when I'm in new places…I hope we can be good friends" she says holding out her hand for me to shake.

"Friends!" I say taking her hand gratefully.

"Lets get started on making this place look homely!" she says. Rummaging through some boxes.

"I was just thinking the same!" I say smiling. Something in my gut tells me I think we're going to get along.

"I've got a kettle and some cocoa in a bag down stairs, when it comes up I'll put it on" I say, sitting down on the vacant bed, actually, it's quite comfy

I hope that all my things will make it look more homely.

"Bethany?" my father calls loaded with boxes and bags. I rush out to relieve him.

"You brought all this?" I say taking it all from him and dumping it beside the door.

"Yeah, how's it going?" he asks.

"Yeah, ok…this is my room mate, Jessica…" I say introducing the pair. My father puts a hand out to her.

"Hey, how you doing?" he asks casually.

"Hi" Jessica replies shaking his hand.

"I trust you two can look after each other? That's everything, Bethany…" he says pointing to several boxes and suitcases plus my violin on the floor.

"Thanks" I say.

"I'd better head back…I don't want Abby tiring Ziva out too much!" he says. I can imagine the look on Ziva's face if she'd been present to hear that comment.

"Ok," I say pulling him into a hug…suddenly all my fears have evaporated.

"See you soon" I say. My father still clings to me in a tight hug.

"Dad…you can let go now…" I say struggling to get away from him to take in air. He follows my order and lets go.

"Ah, that's better…I can breathe!" I joke. He puts on his face of mock hurt and I gently slap him on the shoulder.

"Call me once you're settled, ok?" he says giving me one last quick hug. He pauses at the door frame.

"I love you," he says sincerely.

"I love you too" I reply "But save that for Ziva!" I say.

"Stay out of trouble!" he laughs…I turn to Jessica and we laugh, when I turn back he is gone…just like that.

"So, shall we interrogate each other now while we unpack or later?" I say heaving some boxes onto my bed.

"I think now, before we get interrupted!" Jessica replies doing the same. "Oh, and call me Jess" she says

"Ok, Jess…you can call me Beth…I've never really been called that before but I think its time for change" I say surprising myself…my whole life I've been terrified of change.

"Ok…Who wants to go first?" she asks.

"Why don't we take it in turns" I suggest.

"Great, where are you from?" she asks shoving a pile of books onto her shelf.

"Born and raised in Washington DC" I say proudly.

"San Diego" she says.

"What instrument do you play?" I ask

"Piano is my primary, flute is my secondary…it's hear somewhere…" she laughs, "You?"

"Voice primarily, and Violin secondary" I say.

"Cool! Like Opera?" she asks. Suddenly sighs with relief when she pulls her flute from a box.

"Sometimes, I do classical and Broadway…and modern if I'm in the mood" I say.

"Impressive…" we continue to chat and exchange facts about ourselves. It becomes clear to me we get along very well.

"What about you're parents? What do they do? Are they musical?" Jess asks all at once. I was hoping that I might not have to answer this question, but, I suppose I might as well get it over and done with.

"My Dad is a Special Agent…" I begin.

"No way! Like…James Bond?" she asks.

"No, he would love that though…he's a Special Agent for an FBI Agency called NCIS" I begin, awaiting her question for an explanation.

"Like CSI?" She says, I think about it for a while. Just to make it easier I reply…

"Yeah, I suppose it is…but the N stands for Naval…it basically investigates crimes and stuff within the Navy and…stuff" I say, not realising quite how complicated it actually is.

"Wow, that's awesome" she says I smile.

"What about you're dad?" I ask. She shrugs.

"Nothing as hip as a Special Agent, he's an AC installer. Pretty boring" she says. I laugh, I've never considered NCIS as 'hip' I try to imagine Gibbs being 'hip'…nah, it just doesn't work.

"Your Mom?" I ask.

"She's a Doctor" she says more proudly. "Secretly she wanted me to be doctor too.." she says.

"I know that feelings…my dad wanted me to be an ass kicking agent like him or some sort of crime scene investigator" I say.

"What about your mom?" she asks me quizzically, I think she is wondering why I haven't brought her up yet.

"She's dead…she was killed in the 9/11 attacks on the Pentagon…she was a security administrator" I say.

"Oh" she says, well, I can't blame her…there isn't much you can say in response to something like that.

"She wasn't suppose to be there…she'd had an argument with my dad that morning and went in just to get away from him" I finish. Now she knows, I hope she never brings it up again.

"I'm sorry" she says, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I've been through is a lot…people feeling sorry for me.

"I'm glad you felt as if you could tell me that…I know it can't be easy" she finishes.

"It's ok, really…it was a long time ago. My dad's moved on, he's engaged to this wonderful girl who I like so much…she's like a best friend to me" I say sounding more possible.

"Is she a Special Agent too?" she asks. I shake my head.

"Yes, she used to be in Mossad" I tell her, her jaw drops.

"Your dad is marrying an Israeli Assassin?" she reiterates.

"She's kill you if she heard you call her that…" I say suddenly realising what I just said. We burst out laughing.

"No, really…she's the nicest person you could ever meet. She's had a hard life…and she's expecting two little siblings for me" I say.

"Wow…you're life sounds amazing" she says.

"Yeah well…no matter how much I love them I didn't want to be like them…music is my life now" I say.

"Me too, to the next four years!" she says in a toast. We chink our mugs of hot chocolate together.

***


	14. Chapter 14

***

Thanksgiving came around quicker than I ever imagined. Jess and myself say our goodbyes and soon I'm on my way home again.

I'm buzzing with lots of things to tell everyone including my first experience of recording a CD! I sit on the way trying to contain myself with excitement keeping my violin close by.

The train journey is only a couple of hours and my iPod keeps me amused for the journey.

When I get off the train I hear Abby before I see her. I can hear her familiar screaming from miles off.

"Bethany!" she screams turning several heads the busy train station. I'm surprised to see her by herself.

"Hey!" I wave. I drop all my stuff and fly into her awaiting arms. She squeezes me tightly.

"Abs, lacking oxygen…" I stagger.

"Oh yeah…welcome home! Everyone wanted to come and welcome you but they're all out in the field" she explains helping me with my bags.

"That's ok, I can't wait to see everyone!" I say.

"The feelings mutual, Tony's been bouncing around all excited all day!" she says laughing.

"How's Ziva?" I ask. Abby laughs a little.

"I'll warn you now…she'll look a little different from when you last saw her, and she'll definitely be waiting for you at the officer, Gibbs has taken her off field work, she wanted to come too but she had paper work to finish" she tells me.

"Wow, she's grown that much? I bet she's really annoyed at Gibbs…" I say

"Your father too…he won't let her do anything, he's become very protective of her, he's taking this whole fatherhood thing very seriously…I mean, not that he didn't with you I mean…" she stumbles in her 'Abby' sort of way.

"I know what you mean, Abby. I got gifts for everyone!" I say.

"Don't waste your student money on us!" she says sternly but also sounding excited at the mention of presents.

"Only this once, soon as Christmas is coming and all!" I say

"I know! I love Christmas…Gibbs is having a Christmas get together at his place on Christmas Eve and Ducky has invited everyone over to his place for thanksgiving!" she informs me as we get to her car…I love the red thing!

"Sounds great!" I say getting in. I can't wait to see my car again and give her a spin!

We chat about random stuff for a while until we get to NCIS.

"It looks different!" I say examining it from the outside.

"Yeah, it's the Dark cloud that Vance has thrown over the building" Abby says

"I miss Jenny" I admit, I have no idea where it has suddenly come from but it's the truth… this will be our first Christmas without her.

"I know, it's gonna be hard…but no one is going to be alone this year" Abby says positively. I know she means well but Jenny won't be there, loosing Jenny was like loosing my Mom all over again.

"Come one, lets go inside, it's getting really cold…they've forecasted snow this weekend!" she says ushering me inside.

The heat of the building hits me as do the surroundings in general. Its been a long time since I've been here, and it's good to be back…even if I don't actually work here.

"Hey, look who I found!" Abby says dragging me into the squad room, everyone is back by now. Everyone gets up from their seats and crowds around me, it's a bit unbearing.

"Hey!" My father calls giving me a hug.

"I'd started to forget what you looked like!" he jokes.

"Dad!" I say.

Gibbs gives me a hug also and McGee rustles my neat hair.

"MCGEE!" I yell laughing. He's the _only _person who does that to me, I've quite missed it. I see Ziva still sitting at her desk, she doesn't look that different apart from _that _glow that all pregnant women get. It's only when she gets up from her desk I really understand what Abby was talking about.

"Ziva! You look great!" I say going over to her so she doesn't have far to go.

"No I don't, I look like a whale!" she says.

"Ah hah! She's finally mastered that phrase!" My father continues, "But I very beautiful whale!" he says wrapping an arm around her shoulder pulling her close to him. Her hand rests perfectly on her large bump.

"I come bearing gifts!" I say, everyone ooh and ahhs with anticipation.

I hand over McGee's 3D puzzle of the empire state building.

"Aw, Bethany, you know me so well!" he says, rummaging through the box in order to start building it straight away.

I give Gibbs his I Heart NY travel coffee thermos.

"Thank you, you didn't have to you know" he says.

"Of course I did" I say.

"Me next, me next!" Abby says excited. I pick out her package. It's a mini statue of liberty with no head but instead a vertical crocodile clip so she can put someone else's head there instead. It's tacky I know but she loves it!

"How cool is that!" she says giving me a hug before disappearing back down into the lab.

I give Ziva her necklace which I got for her and she accepts it tearfully being the emotional, pregnant woman she is.

"What did I get?" my father asks me.

"Well, I kind of bumped into someone who came to one our concerts before going to his film premier" I say smiling.

"Sorry about the state of it, it was all I had handy at the time" I say handing him a signed concert programme, signed by Daniel Craig.

"Daniel Craig came to watch you!" he says gob smacked.

"Yes, he thoroughly enjoyed it" I say.

"James Bond came to see my daughter in a concert!" he says gleefully.

"Well, there were 60 other participants, dad, it wasn't just me!" I laugh,

"Last but not least…" I say fishing for the last two packages.

"I'll probably have to keep them somewhere for a little while" I say retrieving two little teddy bears saying 'I heart NY' on little white t-shirts.

"OH, Bethany, you shouldn't have" Ziva says.

"I couldn't leave my little brothers or sisters out, could I? Are you going to find out what they are?" I ask. Ziva and my father exchange glances.

"We were going to wait but _someone _couldn't wait that long" Ziva says poking my father in the chest.

"You already know?" I say.

"Sorry, we wanted to tell you in person though!" My father says.

"And? Does anyone else know?" I ask

"We were going to tell everyone else at Ducky's thanksgiving dinner" Ziva tells me.

"Ok, so tell me now…I can keep a secret until then!" I say bursting.

"a boy and a girl" My father says proudly planting a kiss on his fiancée's head.

"Have you set a date for the wedding?" I say.

"We were going to wait until after the twins are born…that way I'll at least fit into a wedding dress" Ziva explains.

"And there's no risk of her going into labour on the big day!" he jokes.

"Dad! Your so rude! It's unbelievable, I don't know how you put up with him!" I say.

***

Soon after my reunion with the NCIS team, Ziva and my father took me home. A strange thought occurred to me, this place didn't feel like home anymore…New York was my home, my little bedroom that I shared with Jess felt like home. When I looked in my room, I found that it looked as though it had never been touched, it was exactly how I had left it. Next I peeked into the twins room, little had been done to it that I'd noticed except the two beautifully crafted cribs with matching mobiles.

"It looks lovely-" I say sensing Ziva behind me. I turn to face her and see her smiling, her hand resting comfortably over her unborn children. The look suits her more than I could ever have imagined.

"I know-except your father has changed his mind about staying here…and since I sold my apartment…" she says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"He thinks that this isn't enough…he's looking at houses in the suburbs" she tells me, I hear a little glint of excitement in her voice.

"Really?" I ask, "House-hunting? Sounds like fun!" I say.

"Not when you're lugging extra weight around!" Ziva laughs.

"Seriously, you look great…erm, have you…" I begin, sensing my nervousness, she knows what I'm talking about.

"I haven't told my father yet" she says. I sigh

"You know, he let you resign from Mossad so you could live permanently in the states…he might be cool with it" I say. Ziva frowns at my expression, pausing, I think to myself and wonder if Eli David could ever be 'cool'.

"Don't forget, he did disown me" she reminds me and I shudder at the remembrance of those events. Only the two of us _really _know what went on in that room on that day. My father has questioned but knows better and is waiting patiently for the day when she feels she can talk to him about it.

"You're having his grandchildren, Ziva. That is the greatest gift! Promise me you'll tell him, he won't be able to do anything to you if you're standing in MTAC" I say, knowing it will give her closure if she does what I ask of her.

"Ok…I'll talk to your father about it later" she says. I turn to leave the nursery and my fathers voice rattles through the apartment.

"DINNERS READY!!!" He calls in a sing song like voice. My stomach grumbles in response and I realise that I haven't actually eaten since I left New York.

"Good, I'm famished!" I say. Ziva laughs.

"That makes four of us" she says, I think about what she says for a moment because at first it doesn't really make sense, then it does.

"Oh!" I say laughing-she means the twins too!

My father meets us at the table with bowls full of steaming spaghetti and meatballs.

"My favourite!" I say, sitting down.

"So you haven't said much about New York" my father says.

After that, they can't shut me up for hours.


	15. Chapter 15

_***_

_The next morning, my father drills me out of bed and explains to me what the plans are for the day. Seeing as Gibbs gave them both the day of for thanksgiving my father has organised two trips to see two different houses both in Georgetown. Ziva has a prenatal appointment in the afternoon which they both insist that I have to come to. I don't mind, but there's only so much lovey dovey I can take in one day._

"_This is a lovely four bed house with open plan living down stairs" the estate agent explains to us before we head inside. Truthfully it does look gorgeous…my father really is pulling out all the stops on this._

"_Nice large, front lawn, equally matched with a large back yard too" she whitters on. The three of us follow her into the house, as I'm the last one in I shut the door behind us. It's actually massive inside, a lot bigger than our apartment and I always considered our apartment to be quite big. _

_It's cream walls and carpets make it look very neat and pristine. _

"_Cream carpets? Dad? That will be fun once they're toddling around!" I laugh the image of __two _one year olds in this neat house.

"That doesn't matter…I love it!" Ziva says gripping at my father's arm. 

"Don't you want to see the rest of it?" the estate agent asks.

"Yes, but I already know this is the one!" she says starring up at my father with a twinkle in her eye.

"But we haven't seen the other one yet…_the cheaper one_" my father adds.

"I love this one too" I say throwing a spanner into the works.

"Lets go and look upstairs" the estate agent says.

"Good idea!" my father says pulling Ziva along with him.

"…and it's fully furnished!" the estate agent says.

"Please Tony!" Ziva says.

"Ok, I can see myself living here, we'll take it" he says, the estate agent smiles and leads him off to the kitchen to sort out the paper work, leaving Ziva to play around with the remote controlled fire place.

***

About an hour later we are back in the car again and on our way to the hospital for Ziva's 6 month check up. The whole way there they chatter about everything happily. These two people thoroughly deserve this.

"So, how is everything?" the doctor asks.

"Fine, everything is great!" Ziva smiles.

"apart from my bank balance" my father jokes.

"…we just bought a house" he explains.

"Ah! Congratulations then" the doctor says.

"Everything is looking just fine, two lovely, healthy babies…how is your morning sickness Ziva?" the doctor asks. Ziva shrugs.

"It's pretty much all gone now" she answers with a sigh of relief.

"Well, I'd strongly urge that that really start taking it easy…you're line of work isn't good for the babies" the doctor says.

"I've been making sure she doesn't do anything strenuous…" my father says helping her to her feet.

"Good, I'm sure you've got everything covered, Mr DiNozzo" the doctor says, she turns and looks at me.

"You're going to have a big age gap then" the doctor says smiling.

The three of us look at each other and choose not to mention the fact that I'm not Ziva's child too.

It suddenly becomes quite awkward. 

***

We're the last people to get to Ducky's house, Gibbs, McGee, Abby and Palmer are already there.

"Hey guys!" Abby says greeting us. I am stunned by the lengths Ducky has gone to festively decorate the place.

Abby goes to hug Ziva but my father stops her.

"Be careful!" he says, Abby frowns.

"Tony, I'll be fine…you're much to protective of me" she says hugging Abby.

"I have to be…I don't want anything to happen to you or our babies" he says. Everyone 'awws' Gibbs comes over.

"Ziva, when are you thinking about maternity leave?" he asks.

"I'm fine Gibbs, as far as I'm concerned I don't see why I can't keep working right up until my due date" she says, I burst out laughing when I see Gibbs and my father's place.

"I would head slap you, but you're pregnant…please think about this seriously, Ziva" he says.

"I will" she says, "But now, we're here to celebrate" she says changing the subject.

"Dinner is served!" Ducky calls, emerging from the kitchen still in an apron that says 'what's up doc?' on the front. He ushers us all into the dinning room and sits us down to a fabulous feast.

"Wine anyone?" he says. 

"I'll just have orange juice please, Ducky" Ziva says.

"So how's pregnant life, Ziva?" Abby asks.

"What? Apart from the aching back, swollen feet and weird cravings? Everything is good, thanks"

"They bought a house today" I say through a mouthful of turkey. Everyone gasps and conversation ripples around the table.

"Are you going to have a house warming party?" McGee asks.

"Slow down! We haven't moved in yet!" my father says.

"When are you going to move in?" Gibbs says.

"Hopefully before Christmas" Ziva says.

"But that's only three weeks away!" Palmer says.

"We know, we just want to do it as soon as possible, that's all" my father says.

"What about the wedding? Set a date for that yet?" Abby asks.

"We were thinking June, maybe July…" Ziva says.

"Great! A summer wedding!" Abby says gleefully.

"Oh and do you want to hear are other news!" My father says barely able to contain himself.

"What?" they ask. I smile proudly because _I _already know.

"What colour presents to buy or babies!" he says bursting to tell the news.

"You found out!" Gibbs asks. "I thought you were going to wait" he says.

"We were, but Tony was desperate" Ziva says.

"So?" Ducky asks. The team sat around the table in silence.

"A boy and a girl" my father says before Ziva has the chance to.

"Thought of any names?" McGee says.

"Well, we'd love to name them after you guys but there's only so many names a kid can have" My father begins.

"We thought that for the girl, Rebekah Jennifer" Ziva says.

"and for the boy, Noah Jethro" my father finishes. I notice the slight disappointment in Abby's face.

"But that's not all…we'd Abby, Timothy, Gibbs and Ducky to be God Parents" he says. 

"What about me!" Palmer says jokingly. Ziva looks horrified at the thought of forgetting about him.

"You can be honorary Uncle" my father says, I hide my smirk behind a napkin, Palmer seems pleased enough.

"You want me to be a god parent!" Abby asks tears in her eyes.

"Of course!" Ziva says placing a hand on Abby's arm.

"Thank you" she says. 

Several hours and bourbons later the evening draws to a close. Ziva can barely stay on her feet as tiredness overcomes her and Palmer struggled to walk in a straight line. Gibbs offers to drive him home and Abby and McGee leave together. I make a mental note to ask them about that at a later date. 

***

"I never realised how much crap we actually have" I say taping up another box. I don't know how my father has managed it but it is a week before Christmas and he managed to sell the apartment-we are moving in the new house today!

Ziva is pacing back and forth, bored out of her mind because none of us will let her pick up anything.

"dad, the piano man is here!" I say noticing the stocky man at the door. Above all the madness I greet him. Everyone is here helping.

"How on earth did you get it in here in the first place" Ziva says looking at the grand piano in confusion.

"With great difficulty I recall" the man says, I shake his hand.

"Paul, it's great to see you…Ziva, this guy got my baby into the house in the first place…you go and sit down and you can watch how he does it" I say gently shoving her out of McGee's way, he doesn't see her because his vision is blocked by the many boxes he is carrying.

"I'm not a child!" she argues.

"But you are carrying two" I remind her.

"I haven't forgotten you know!" she says. Paul laughs.

"You picked a hell of a time to move out!" he says scratching his head whilst thinking of a plan.

"Don't ask me, it wasn't my idea" I say, "It's far too stressful for Ziva if you ask me" I say.

"Bethany, you're sounding like my mother!" she tells me. My father passes her and kisses her lightly on the lips.

"I'm so glad your father found happiness again, Bethany" he tells me.

"Me too…so how quickly do you think we'll be able to get it out of here?" I ask.

"Well, judging by how long it took to get it up here…you never make my life easy you know Bethany!" he laughs.

"Well, it will be on the ground floor at our new place…" I pause, he stares at me, "…I'll leave you to it" I say.

About four hours later, the apartment is an empty shell. I feel like I'm living the last ever _Friends _episode. This apartment has been through a lot, if these walls could talk they would have a hell of a story to tell…

It's not a long drive to our new place…well, I say our new place even though I don't really live with them anymore. The 'for sale' sign has been taken down and all our belongings are scattered on the lawn, fortunately, it hasn't started to snow yet.

The guys help us shift all our stuff inside as my piano arrives. Paul sticks his head out the window.

"Don't worry Bethany, I took extra caution!" he laughs.

"You better had…that's a Steinway!" I yell.

It's all hands on deck for the piano being moved in. But praise the lord that Paul knows what he's doing. The piano is settled perfectly into place in the lounge within an hour. I bid Paul goodbye and the first thing I rummage for while everyone piles their shoes in the porch so they don't spoil the new cream carpet. It's so weird being in a house with stairs and carpet. Our apartment was laminate flooring throughout.

"Ah, you have your priorities right!" Ducky says coming over to give me a hand.

"Nothing beats a bit of tea!" I say polishing my English accent. 

"Nice accent!" he says

"I'm doing a module in music theatre…we're doing _My Fair Lady_" I tell him.

"I could have danced all night!" He sings.

"Very impressive!" I laugh.

***

It's Christmas Eve and there are boxes everywhere. We have unpacked most things but left it now until the new year. We decorate the tree before we head out to Gibbs' Christmas party. 

"Our first Christmas together…" my father says to Ziva.

"We have had many Christmases together, Tony" she says hanging a decoration on a tree branch.

"Yeah but not as a proper couple" he says. "I love you" he says, oh god…here we go! Ziva stops what she is doing and puts her hand against my father's cheek. They kiss lovingly.

"I love you too" she replies.

"Er guys, I'm still here you know!" I say trying to sound disgusted…however it all seems very romantic.

"Sorry, Bethany" Ziva says.

"We'd better go, or we'll be late for the Christmas festivities!"

***

When we get to Gibbs' house little snow flakes are starting to fall. Gibbs' lets us in and the warm hits us welcomingly.

The party gets into full swing and I'm surprised to see Tobias Fornell and Vance and his family there as well. 

"Hey Toby!" I say to Fornell, I know how much it annoys him which is why I do it.

"Bethany" he greets me, "How's New York?" he asks me

"Good, I really like it" I say, Gibbs takes me by the arm and pulls me to one side next to the piano. I don't know why he has a piano, he doesn't play.

"Will you play for me? Please?" he asks, I try to resist the look on his face but I fail.

"Play what?" I ask. He shrugs.

"Something Christmassy" he says. 

"You owe me…you know when you host a party, you're suppose to deal with the entertainment" I say.

"I am, I'm putting my faith in you to do it" he says. I stick my tongue out at him as I sit down at the piano…I've never played his piano before, it's quite different to mine.

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas…" I sing, formulating the smooth jazzy sound on the pearly white keys beneath my hands.

Out of the corner of my eye I see my father dancing with Ziva, as close as they can get without Ziva's bump getting in the way. They just look so good together.

I'm glad he found her.

At 10:30, I have to be a kill joy and leave early. The parish that gave me my choral scholarship in DC asked if I would sing at their midnight mass. After many goodbyes, sober and tipsy I am allowed to leave.

***

I don't get in until gone 1.30am and the house is quiet. I check to see if my father and Ziva are back from the party…I peak through the door after contemplating for several minutes whether that might be a good idea. They are both fast asleep… I shut the door and head to bed myself.

It feels like I've barely shut my eyes for a second before my father shakes me awake.

"Wakey, wakey!" He says excitedly.

"Oh god! Five more minutes!" I slur turning over.

"Nope, not on Christmas!" he says.

"Leave her alone, Tony" Ziva scolds. He ignores her and whips the duvet off my bed exposing my pyjama clad body to coldness. I curl up into a ball.

"Oh come on…I've got presents!" he says running out of the room. Admitting defeat, I sit up and get out of bed and follow him down stairs.

We exchange gifts over breakfast. My father has bought several presents for the twins which are mainly little outfits which he went uncharacteristically gooey over when we encountered them in a store.

"Oh!" Ziva gasps sucking in a deep breath.

"What is it?" my father says rushing to her side instantly.

"I don't know…oh!" she says again her hands pressed over the stomach.

"I can't be in labour…it's much too soon!" she says in distress.

"Don't worry, they're probably just kicking in excitement because it's Christmas!" I say trying to be calm. My father is just running around like a headless chicken.

"Dad, just calm down" I say.

"Tony, please, I think they were just turning" she tells him.

"I'm taking you to the hospital just in case" he says reaching for the phone.

"Tony, it's Christmas day!" She says, "It's subsided now, I promise" she says taking his hand…that seems to calm him down.

"Ok, just don't scare me like that again!" he says pressing a kiss on her forehead.

"What are the plans for today…I never asked" I ask.

"Everyone is coming here" my father tells me "So you better get a wriggle on and get dressed" he says, 

"When were you going to tell me?" I ask.

"Like you said…you never asked" he says with a smile. "I'm gonna go and put the turkey on and you…miss David will stay right there and put your feet up!" he says rushing into the kitchen.

Everyone arrives within the next couple of hours baring gifts and extra food for the day. My father, give him his due, is actually capable of cooking quite a decent Christmas Dinner, he's obviously been practicing his cooking since I've been away.

We sit down at the table for a marvellous Christmas lunch…just like one huge family, minus Palmer who is at his parents house for the day. We just sit there all afternoon laughing and talking and playing charades…I'm actually very good at the game myself…it becomes a battle between myself and Ducky but unfortunately the title goes to Ducky. My father is in a semi-sulk because he didn't even make it to the final. Ziva sees to that by giving him a soft kiss which seems to cheer him up.

The day goes very quickly and it's very late in the evening when I make everyone a round of turkey and cranberry sauce sandwiches before they all depart. 

This is what Christmas should be all about, spending it with your family and those who you love…I think I would go as far to say that this Christmas has been the best ever!

***


	16. Chapter 16

_***_

_It is the middle of January when I have to bid my goodbyes to the team again, but this time I'm nowhere near as anxious. I'm actually excited to go back and share all my gossip with Jess and all my other friends. The twins are due at the end of February but we are all aware of the fact that she could go into labour at any time so I've got myself on standby to come home as soon as it happens._

"_Let me know all the developments with the wedding!" I say._

"_Don't worry, I wish you could stay and help!" Ziva says emotionally, this hormonal side of Ziva is something that actually scares me._

"_Don't worry, you've got my email address and there's always face book!" I laugh, but this makes her cry even more. She sobs into my father's shoulder as I get on the train._

"_Take care now," my father calls._

"_You know I will!" I say as the train leaves them behind._

_***_

_Jess is already there when I get up to our room._

"_Hey!" she says bounding over to me. "How was your Christmas?" she asks._

"_Very entertaining!" I say._

"_Really? How are the wedding plans going?" she asks me._

"_Speaking of which…" I say, "Do you reckon I'd be able to find three other string players so I get a quartet for the wedding?" I ask .Jess shrugs._

"_I'm sure you can…just put up an advert in the lobby and see who gets back to you" she advises._

"_and I also want our chamber choir group to get together and so some stuff too, is that ok?" I ask. I put our chamber group together when I first started and it's been quite a success._

"_Great, I'm gonna keep it a surprise though!" I tell her, she laughs._

"_You devious thing!" she says. "How are the twins?" she asks._

"_Driving Ziva crazy!" I say. _

_***_

_A month later, my cell phone wakes me at the ungodly hour of 2am. The caller ID is Gibbs-suddenly I'm bolt awake._

"_Gibbs?" I say in a hushed voice as not to wake Jess. I stumble into the bathroom and shut the door so I can talk more openly._

"_Sorry to wake you but there's been a hitch" he tells me. My heart is in my throat._

"_Ziva was hurt at a crime scene, she's gone into labour" he says quickly._

"_What! Is she ok?" I ask frantically._

"_Yeah, some idiots were crowding around the crime scene and bumped into her and knocked her over. The doctors have said the twins are fine but they are coming now…you're father is in a bit of a state…how soon can you get here?" he asks, I don't think I'm going to be able to get there any time soon._

"_I'll get the first flight out" I say, hanging up. I rush back into the room. Jess is sitting up in bed rubbing her eyes._

"_What's going on?" she asks._

"_I've got to go, Ziva's gone into labour!" I say, throwing some clothes into a back pack._

"_Really!" she says excitedly._

"_Yeah, she got hurt at a crime scene" I tell her, "Look, I've got to go now…I'll call my tutor later when I get there but would you be able to explain to someone why I'm not here?" I ask, she nods._

"_Of course" she says. I'm out the door in minutes._

_The next flight from JFK to Reagan International is 5:30. I sit around for ages in the airport waiting for my flight to be called. I call Gibbs again_

"_Hey, how are things going?" I ask feeling so helpless sitting in an airport miles and miles away from them._

"_Good, Ziva's doing great!" he says._

"_I hope I don't miss the birth" I say._

"_You'll get here when you can, that's enough…they understand that" he says. My flight is called as we speak._

"_Gibbs, my flight has just been called, I'll see you soon…which hospital?" I ask._

"_Bethesda" he answers quickly. I hang up instantly and rush over to the gate, I show the flight attendant my boarding pass and walk quickly down the carrier onto the plane._

_As soon as I get out of Reagan International Airport I hail a cab._

"_Bethesda Navel Hospital" I say quickly._

"_You hurt miss?" the guy asks me. I shake my head._

"_No…my mom is having twins right now! I have to be there!" I say "Put your foot down!" I instruct, he does what is asked of him._

_Within ten minutes I am racing down the corridor until I come face to face with Gibbs, Ducky, Abby and McGee._

"_Any news?" I say completely out of breath. My father emerges from a near by room holding a tiny bundle of white blankets. He looks at us with tears in his eyes, for a moment, I think something bad has happened but then I realise. _

_They are tears of joy._

"_Bethany! You came!" he says._

"_Of course I did, I wouldn't miss this for the world" I say._

"_Who have you got there, then?" Gibbs says._

"_This is Noah Jethro" he says proudly revealing the tiniest, cutest little face. He stared at the strange faces surrounding him._

"_He's beautiful!" I say, brushing a finger across his soft brown hair._

"_The nurses are just cleaning Rebekah over" he says._

"_How's Ziva?" Ducky asks_

"_She's tiered but she did great boss!" My father says emotionally through tears, he too looks exhausted._

_I sneak into the room and leave the others to peak at Noah. I enter the room and a nurse goes to stop me._

"_Who are you?" she asks me._

"_I'm her step mother, my father told me my little sister was in here" I say, the nurse steps back smiling._

"_Bethany?" Ziva calls, she is holding Rebekah. She is such a natural._

"_Hey, congratulations, you've reduced my father to tears!" I laugh. She laughs too._

"_Are you ok? Gibbs said you were hurt" I ask. Ziva shrugs._

"_I'm fine, I just got knocked" she said offering her finger to Rebeka who took hold of it in a firm grasp._

"_They are absolutely beautiful, Ziva" I say, Rebekah looks just like Noah, I suppose it's a good thing they are boy and girl otherwise none of us would ever be able to tell them apart._

"_Here, do you want to hold her?" she asks me. I nod as she lifts Rebeka into my awaiting arms. _

"_She's so light!" I say surprised. _

"_That will change!" the nurse laughs. Ziva yawns._

"_You need to get some rest, Ziva" the nurse says._

"_I know" she says her eyes shutting._

"_I'll come back in a little while and show you how to breast feed ok?" she says but Ziva is already flat out._

"_She's one tough cookie" the nurse says referring to Ziva. I know that she doesn't know the half of it. "If you like, you can take her outside to meet the others, I know your parents brought quite a crowd with them!" the nurse says._

"_Thanks" I say, she opens the door for me and leaves Ziva to get some peace._

"_Aww, baby number two!" Abby squeals. _

"_Dad, they're perfect!" I say_

"_Good job Tony" McGee says ruffling Noah's hair a little._

"_Thanks Tim" he says, they shake hands._

"_You did good DiNozzo" Gibbs says patting him on the shoulder._

"_They don't look anything like what that software program came up with" McGee says._

"_What are you talking about, McGee?" Gibbs asks sternly, McGee looks like a deer caught in head lights._

"_Er, nothing boss" he says. He is saved when Gibbs' cell phone starts to ring._

"_Gibbs" he says wandering off down the corridor._

"_Can I hold one?" Abby says. I pass Rebekah to her._

"_Aww, Tony I could just eat her!" Abby says. My father looks horrified._

"_Dad! She's joking!" I laugh._

"_Sorry guys, Vance wants our asses back in work" Gibbs says rounding the corner._

"_Gibbs! How can I possibly go to work now!" Abby moans._

"_That includes you DiNozzo!" he says, My father's jaw drops._

"_Just kidding, Tony" he says with a smile._

"_Tony, we promise we'll come by later!" Abby says. They all head down the corridor towards the exit. Soon it is just my father and myself out there with Noah and Rebekah._

"_Let's go and see if Ziva is awake" I say._

_We both go inside and she stirs when we enter. She opens her eyes groggily._

"_Hey, how are you feeling, sweet cheeks?" he asks brushing her hair out of her face._

"_Like I just gave birth…twice" she says. I laugh._

"_Thank you" I hear him tell her._

"_What for?" she asks in response._

"_For this, for making me the happiest man right now" he says before kissing her passionately. _

"_I love you so much" he says breaking from the kiss for a moment, resting his forehead on hers, _

"_I love you too!" she says kissing him passionately in response. They stay looked in a passionate embrace for several minutes, myself and my brother and sister instinctively know not to disturb them…it's been an emotional morning and it's not even midday yet. _

_Now I truly know what perfection is._

_***_

_I find it difficult to return back to New York several days later. Ziva and the twins were discharged two days later and are doing marvellously. Abby and myself have planned a belated baby shower for when I get back for the Easter vacation._

"_I'll see you soon!" I say. _

_When I get back to New York and crowd of my friends greet me desperate for pictures and info. _

"_Several people have said they'll do the quartet thing with you" Jess tells me on the way to the canteen._

"_Great!" I say_

"_What were you thinking of doing with the Chamber choir" she asks me._

"_I was thinking along the lines of Theatre and Jazz and stuff, not classical like we usually do" Jess nods in approval._

"_Sounds great, have you sorted your mid term recital yet?" she asks spooning a forkful of pasta into her mouth._

"_Yeah, it's a music theatre module so I'm doing 'thank you for the music' from Mamma Mia, 'if you were gay' from Avenue Q and 'Somewhere' from West Side Story" I say._

"_Cool, who did you manage to rope into the Avenue Q one?" she laughs._

"_Well, I have someone in mind but I haven't asked them yet" I say._

_***_

"_No way! Bethany the answer is no!" he says, I huff with impatience._

"_Please, McGee you'd be perfect!" I say_

"_Oh Great so you think I __look _gay!" he says.

"No, I just think your great at acting, please…I'll pay all your expenses!" I say.

The is a long pause on the other end of the line.

"Please!" I try one last time.

"Oh, ok. Is it in front of lots of people?" he asks.

"Well parents are invited and the other members of my class will be there but it won't be many people…please, my future here depends on you!" I say,

"Why can't you find someone who actually does music theatre?" he asks,

"Because I know you will be better than any of them!" I say.

"Ok, when do you need me?" he asks me.

"Oh don't worry, I've already cleared it with Gibbs, Your all coming up to visit me that weekend. We can practise then! Thanks McGee you're the best!" I say quickly hanging up before he can change his mind.

***

The semester goes by so fast the weekend before Easter vacation arrives quicker than I could ever have imagined. Gibbs, McGee, Abby, my Father and Ziva and the twins are coming to watch me in my mid term recital and I'm so nervous about it.

"I can't wait to meet your little brother and sister!" Jess tells me.

"I can't wait to see them either, the last time I saw them they were only four days old. That was three months ago" I say

"Gosh! It's gone so fast!" Jess says. I nod in agreement. Suddenly I see the gang in my eye line, I start waving frantically.

"Hey over here!" I yell. 

When they finally reach us I rush to the double stroller to see Noah and Rebeka.

"Hi guys!" I say into the pram.

"Hey Gibbs, thanks for coming all the way out here to see me Gibbs" Gibbs says jokingly.

"Hello" I say giving him a hug.

"It's good to see you" I tell him.

"How about a hug for your old man!" my father says opening his arms to me. I give him a tight hug. 

"You came" I say

"Of course I did, I can't wait to see Probie's first ever performance on stage!" he says, Ziva whacks him in the stomach. I laugh and give her a hug.

"Ziva, you look great!" I say, "How are you?" I ask.

"Good, I'm great!" she says.

"Abby!!!!" I say giving her a hug. I pull away.

"Guys, this is my room mate and friend, Jess…Jess, this is the team!" I say introducing her to everyone and vice versa.

"I heard so much about you guys!" Jess says "Especially you two!" she says looking into the pram.

"Congratulations, both of you" Jess says to my father and Ziva.

"We got one more surprise for you" my father says.

"Dan?" he calls.

"Dan!" I repeat, I see him for the first time in nearly half a year. He has been in California studying Medicine. I run to him. He picks me up in his strong arms and spins me round. I kiss him passionately on the lips.

"Oh my God what are you doing here?" I ask absolutely stunned.

"Well, I couldn't really afford a plane ticket home, but your father helped me out, I came to see your recital" he says smiling.

"Oh my god!" I say again, "I cannot believe it!" I laugh with joy. Everyone came here…for me.

"Come on, McGee, lets go practise" I say taking him by the arm.

"We're gonna go back to the hotel, we thought we'd just come by to let you know we were here" Gibbs said. 

"It's nearly time for the twins' feed" Ziva says.

"Ok, lets go" my father says putting his arm around her and taking the buggy from her.

"We'll see you later, McGee!" My father laughs.

"Brake a leg, McGee!" Abby says.

"Not you too!" McGee says, Abby smiles seriously and McGee calms down a little.

"Come on lets go!" I say.

***

"It's quite simple McGee, Honestly." I say.

"I know, I learnt all the lines you gave me and I've been listening to the song" he tells me.

"Good, then what's the problem?" I ask. He looks at the floor.

"Is it because of the team?" I ask "They think you're really brave for doing it" I say reassuringly.

"Is it because you don't want to embarrass yourself in front of Abby?" I ask, McGee looks at me.

"Oh McGee! Does she know how you feel? I promise you it will be fine!" I tell myself more than him. 

"It's the first item, it will be over before you know it" I say trying to sound as confident as possible for McGee's sake.

***

The curtain goes up.

"This is going to be good" Tony mutters to Noah who gurgles back at him.

"Tony be quiet!" Ziva shushes him. McGee is sitting centre stage alone. 

***

The pit orchestra below me begin the intro and I bravely walk on stage, the lights on the stage make it impossible for me to see who is in the audience.

"Hi Tim!" I say.

"Hi Beth" McGee replies, he's a much better actor than he gives himself credit for.

"Do you know what happened to me on the Subway this morning?" I say in character.

"Er no, no I don't" he replies starring into his book prop.

"Well, I met this guy who was so hot, and I think he'd be good for you" I say.

"Did you just say guy?" he asks.

"Don't worry, It's nothing to be embarrassed about" I begin.

"But I'm not gay!" McGee says in character, I swear I can hear a snigger coming from the audience.

"Oh come on Tim, you shouldn't be ashamed…I just think we should be able to talk about stuff like this…" I say, McGee stands up.

"I don't need to talk about…" he stutters in a fluster. He has the character just how I wanted.

"Ok…" I say preparing for my start, "But just so you know…" I take a deep breath.

"If you were gay,

That would be ok,

I mean cos hey!

I would like you anyway

And I know that you

Would respect me too

If I told you today

That I was gay…but I'm not gay" I sing as animated as possible. I stare at McGee trying to urge a reaction, it's all part of the script.

"What!!!" McGee yells. This gets a laugh from the whole audience.

"If you were queer,

I'd still be here,

Year after year,

Because you're dear to me,

And I know that you,

Would stick by me too

If I told you today

Hey guess what! I'm gay…but I'm not gay"

"I'm happy, just being with you,

So what does it matter to me, 

What you do in bed with guys?" a stretch the last phrase.


End file.
